Let the trials commence!

It's the end of olympics, oh well, we have a new set of events. TRIALS!!! applause please.
This is an account that happened on 4/9/04.

-4/9/04-
I felt very happy yesterday. I didn't know why but on my way home, I started praying for the trees and the grass. 'Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!" It was the 7th lunar month, I was thinking will the trees that God created be possessed by the wandering evil spirits and let them treat them like temporary lodging places? I prayed that the trees will continue to sing praises to God and that they will continue to fulfil the purpose that God has given them.I hope there won't be any ricochet once I've sent this blessing out.
Lesson: If you really want to particpate in spiritual warfare, pray for your own protection first.

After worshipping along the way, I stepped out of my own lift and to the very door of my very own house. At that time, I was still indulging in my joy and worship that I didn't feel anything ominous. As I slowly unlock the door, I felt weird because I couldn't unlock the gate in front of my door. I tried and tried, then I knocked and rang the bell. When the door sprang open, I saw enraged Dad unlocking a padlock that was just attached to gate. He locked me out! The next thing I experienced was anger in my Dad's wake as he went to the store room and thrash the padlock in a drawer. He made lots of noise, displaying his exasperation. The last thing he said before he stormed back to the master bedroom was, "One day, I'll cancel your telephone line."

I definitely saw Medusa. All the joy that was within me just vaporised, escaping the very grasp of my desperate fingers. What came to fill my soul was anger, loss and depression. The Holy Spirit was within me and it has promised the gentleness, patience and peace within my soul, it had prevented me from acting out any irrational executions.

Quiet time was about 'The Heart of Worship', basically it was about surrendering to God, submitting to Him each day, trusting in His will more and more. It really applied to me. All I need now is more faith, trust and hope in my Lord Jesus Christ.Lord, I shall not pray, "comfort me, relieve me from this hour of torment and trial." But I will pray, "Conform me to be more like You. I shall place my hope and trust in You and await patiently the day of Your Glory. Thy will be done, not mine." (Reference to the prayer Jesus made in the garden of olives, before He died, when He felt so much fear before the awaited hour.)Thank You Lord Jesus, Thank You for this trial for I know You have plans for my good future and I have long awaited this trial. Thank You for this trial, Your blessing in disguise. Water the faith plant in me.

Pslams 130:5
I wait for the LORD , my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.

-5/9/04-
I woke up this morning with mist in my head. God didn't give me a dream to interpret or recall.

"Wake up, it's ten. You have already slept for 9 hours! Don't be lazy!" My mom said.

Nagging started my day. Good morning God.What a day,I gave grace to God for vermicelli my mom bought. Thank God for the physical strength to last me throughout the day. After eating, I did prophetic stuffs. I helped my mom do her weekly chores by mopping the floor. This is all about serving God. However, one thing that I didn't please God was, I didn't speak to my mom at all.By the way, my dad went out for work early morning.I just nodded or shoke my head in response to her queries. I helped mom carry the oven and the egg mixer to the kitchen as she wanted to do her weekly 'dim sum' rountine. Did it without complaint. After that, I cooped myself in the room. I wanted to start "When Skeptics asks" but the book was very difficult to comprehend. I proceeded to playing 'the guitar'(boyfriend's) but after a while, my soul was filled with depression. I laid down on the bed and wept. High time since I last wept. God saw me. His heart was aching, but I understand it was for the best. I won't write about my problems in this blog unless it testifies Jesus' love for me. I cried over certain issues which I would not state unless it becomes a testimony. Anyway, I just felt my world crashing down again like I was left to stand alone in this world and darkness is knocking on my door. Nothing shall daunt me for there is still light in my soul. A gleamer of HOPE that still kindles within me, keeps from being strayed for I know and have tasted life without God. Filled with guilt and fear, barriers that stop you from receiving His love. I felt really really EMPTY. Now that I have this trial before me, I can't back out now and return to my old habitual ways. I want to perservere in this path of light, soaring with God on eagles' wings.Anyway, I prayed for patience, peace for my Dad last night and I guess God did His work(He always do.) After my Dad returned from work, He bought my favourite "zhu zhu bing",the biscuit made from leftover mooncake crust.

My mom commented, "Look at your loving father, look! He bought these for you. Shouldn't you be touched?"

I am touched. I know Daddy loves me. I know, I know, I know. His anger was appeased. YEAH!So much for the love God shows. God gave us parents to love us even though He knew from the very start the stark fact that it would be our parents who would be a barrier between God and us. Keep in mind, God's love overcome all things. ALL. ya, ALL. ALL! ALL! ALL!

-Issac-
For God, I've also decided to give up on computer games. No point indulging them, it's like flirting with tempations of the world and the devil smirks when I game. When I start to become idle, all the other temptations follow. After the forty day fast, I felt good. Holy and righteous like the devils in me rid of. After since I started to play again, I was back to square one. I don't want! I want God only.I pray that Lord I will continue to trust You and thank You in all circumstances in life, in all things I would give You praise. You deserve the most Lord, the most. Nothing that I ever do is ever enough to redeem for what You have done for me. I love you and I will trust You. Bless me with faith to endure through this time of trial and I will soar with You again. I want to be like Mount Zion and not be moved. My hope is in You, is in You.I will be still and know You are God.
In Jesus' Most High, Holy, Precious and Sweetest name I pray. And all God's children say,
AMEN.

Thought of the day: If you have high expectations from men that only God can meet, you are in for disappointment.

Hebrew 11:1 -"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see"

I'm a flower quickly fading, without Your love sustaining...