Or my ego will inflate.
I don't know why. I woke up this morning and I felt an urge to blog this down. Yesterday was the release of A levels results. It all happened too quickly for my mind, body and soul to grasp the reality. I wish I could indulge more at that moment of brilliance, glory. Feels so good. But the glory aint mine. It belongs to God.
I wonder if anyone is reading this. It's been long time since I blogged. Well, if you happen to read this, leave a message ok? cool.
I wish I could upload this picture to display my result. It'a a picture of a pack of AAA energizer batteries. By telling this, can you guess what I got for my A levels??? I took 3 A level subject and 1 AO level, that's GP. If you still can't get it, I got 3 As and B3 for GP. I feel elated, like I could advertise for Nike air. Let me go back to that moment before I received that results.
Rewinding.
The Night before:
All's well. Feeling a little drowsy, so I slept well. Didn't worry or felt anxious about the release of results. Like I don't really bother. Just like a another normal day.
The Day of Glory:
I feltl lost. Somehow my heart has wandered off elsewhere. My body was physically present at the school hall but I felt weird, somewhat empty. Like there's something missing. I guess I don't really care what kind of results I would get. Just plainly can't be bothered. So I was there floating along with the crowd as they announced those who had distinctions. Graduadlly, I was awakened by reality. I started to feel nervous. (For the 1st time) And then, there was this voice inside me.
"So, do you think you will get 3As??"
I wanted to ignore it. I prayed and talked to my God.
"God, I wanted 3As and a B3 for my A levels and I claimed that gift in Jesus' name already. So, ask that voice to stop pestering me with lies."
The next thing I knew, I was being called to stage. I felt composed. Like I deserved it, like I expected it all along. I'm not being arrogant. But this was really how I felt. Confident. After every paper of the A level, I would feel good. Like I managed to scrap an A out of the paper. Like those kind of low A and nearly falling into B kind of results. However, I just felt I was confident of obtaining an A for every paper, excluding GP.
This is the first time, my first examination that I got what I wanted. Ain't that awesome??
I wanted 9 points for O level but I got ten and I got disappointed. Now, I got EXACTLY what I wanted. Feels so much like a dream...
I mean God, thanks to You. Since A level ended, I've been battling lies that worries me. Lies that goes on in my head that says, "Are you sure you can get 3 As?"
I just rebutted it, "I'm gonna ignore what you said because I claimed the 3As in Jesus' name already."
"but did God promised you that??"
"shut up! I believed He would bless me because I am confident of my efforts."
Just a little background information, I wasn't exactly like hardworking. I mean like those people who mug day in day out til early in the morning. I'm like those who sleep at 11pm consistently everyday. I'm more of a consistent kind of fellow. Those who does homework regularly. So it makes revision easier I guess, because most of the things I have it inside my brain already. But to have that kind of discipline, it's all God's effort. He made me such a person. My mom used to worry about me because she sees me playing computer everytime during the pre-exam period. My brother is very angry too about me playing so much. He's like, "He(me) better get good results or else I'm gonna whack him." I'm not trying to be a bad influence, to play so much before the A levels. It's just because I'm stressed. Seriously, I felt sick of studying. I wanted out, out, OUT!!! I don't want to study anymore. So, playing games was just my outlet for stress.
I deserve it right, God? I deserve the good results. Amen. After all that I went through, I thought it was only fair that I got these results.
Wow... 3As. So cool, like a dream. thanks to God.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Sunday, September 04, 2005
If love was just based on feelings..
Love is not a feeling. It is a decision. A mere source of willpower to do an act of kindness to a party you love.However, it can be driven by emotions but it doesn't last. We humans will tend to get tired and sick of things once in a while after doing the same old thing. So, to cultivate this long-lasting love in a successful relationship, I believe it is something that requires determination and commitment.Long lasting love comes from a personal willingness to serve the other party with his/her best interests at heart, it does not fade with feelings but increases as it is given away.
Think of the Creator of love. Our God, Jesus Christ. He himself so filled with love and compassion, that He even desires to lavish His love on us. God is the greatest example of eternal love. Imagine if God were to love us by feelings? Does it mean He will treat us as and when He likes, spite us, punish us, whenever He feels angry or jealous? What would have become of us? I doubt any human will live the face of the earth. God created humans to love us and He is committed to love us. He is a meticulous God, none of His creation is of no purpose. So He created us with careful planning to love us consistently throughout our whole life. In this world, where change is a constant, we can rest in blessed assurance in a God who never changes. He is that God who is faithful in all that He does. He promises to love us and He will. Even though we are faithless, He will still be faithful because He cannot break His own promises to us. That would make Him a liar. Someone inconsistent.
We, Humans are wired in a way to think about eternal things. Many want to live forever, they want to spend the forever with their loved ones. If God didn't create us this way, why would we even think of 'forever'. Because humans are meant to live forever. Our death on earth is just the beginning of a new life be it in hell or heaven and that would be forever. But we can trust in the promise of our God that He promises us salvation that whoever who believes in Him will be saved from the pits of hell.
God is the ultimate source of love. In Him, we can find eternal love, love that doesn't fade, love that is consistent, love that is forever and He will love you always. In order to build that relationship with long-lasting love, I believe the key is to involve Your creator in that relationship. He can fuel your lives with that passion to love each other just that He has loved us and when we love, we are pleasing God.
Love, something so complex, can kill and destroy , can edify and encourage. It can be accompanied with emotions like hate, jealousy and etc. But that makes it impure. Pure love is patient, kind, doesn't envy, doesn't boast, not rude, not self-seeking, keeps no record of wrong. It always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres.
Think of the Creator of love. Our God, Jesus Christ. He himself so filled with love and compassion, that He even desires to lavish His love on us. God is the greatest example of eternal love. Imagine if God were to love us by feelings? Does it mean He will treat us as and when He likes, spite us, punish us, whenever He feels angry or jealous? What would have become of us? I doubt any human will live the face of the earth. God created humans to love us and He is committed to love us. He is a meticulous God, none of His creation is of no purpose. So He created us with careful planning to love us consistently throughout our whole life. In this world, where change is a constant, we can rest in blessed assurance in a God who never changes. He is that God who is faithful in all that He does. He promises to love us and He will. Even though we are faithless, He will still be faithful because He cannot break His own promises to us. That would make Him a liar. Someone inconsistent.
We, Humans are wired in a way to think about eternal things. Many want to live forever, they want to spend the forever with their loved ones. If God didn't create us this way, why would we even think of 'forever'. Because humans are meant to live forever. Our death on earth is just the beginning of a new life be it in hell or heaven and that would be forever. But we can trust in the promise of our God that He promises us salvation that whoever who believes in Him will be saved from the pits of hell.
God is the ultimate source of love. In Him, we can find eternal love, love that doesn't fade, love that is consistent, love that is forever and He will love you always. In order to build that relationship with long-lasting love, I believe the key is to involve Your creator in that relationship. He can fuel your lives with that passion to love each other just that He has loved us and when we love, we are pleasing God.
Love, something so complex, can kill and destroy , can edify and encourage. It can be accompanied with emotions like hate, jealousy and etc. But that makes it impure. Pure love is patient, kind, doesn't envy, doesn't boast, not rude, not self-seeking, keeps no record of wrong. It always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres.
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Mugger Muggle
There is one thing I admit. I'm a muggle not a mugger.
I don't possess any magic trait in my blood. I don't even believe in magic. They are just illusions.
It's been quite some time since I wrote my blog right. Been months, hmm... 4-5 months?
I don't know what's been to me. Perhaps I'm lazy to blog.
Well, here's one of my latest entries. I'm grateful for what God had done. I finished my exams paper. A for chemistry and biology and D for maths. I'm very disappointed with my maths results. Ask me why? I didn't really practise I suppose. I was over confident. Way over. On that day before my maths paper, I hardly did any work because I was confident of my own ability. And ouch, the grade 'D' hurts. What's more, I knew how to do and it's all the carelessness that makes me cry. God, what are You trying to teach me in this?
Rely not on my own ability but the Lord's wisdom and strength.
For chemistry and biology, I was confident too. Here's my secret. I'm no mugger. It's God's wisdom and consistency. I mean, God will help those who help themselves. Humans submit to God what they cannot control.(hmm... this statement is quite controversial) I can't control the marker who marks my script. I can't control the mood of my marker. I just leave them all to God. I helped myself with consistency and God's wisdom filled in the gaps of my knowledge. God is loving. The saying 'you reap what you sow' is true.
Just some truth from myself: I think muggers are those who study hardcore. Although this term is relative to various individuals. But I didn't stay up all night to study for my papers. I stopped everyday at ten pm and I go and meet God. I am still lazy to study too because I feel confident partly and because I am just reluctance to start work at times.So I am still classified as one? God knows how much I study, you ask Him.
Dear Father in Heaven,
hallowed be Thy Name. God, may my results glorify thee. Lord, I know without Your wisdom I am not capable of even writing out the answers. Father, I thank You for sustaining me through this exams and I thank You that I may be able to glorify You. Lord, help me lean not on my own understanding but on Yours which transcends all understanding on earth and heaven. I praise You for what You've done from the Cross to the very day that I was born and up til this day. Thy kingdom come. Thy kingdom come. In Jesus' most Precious Name, Amen.
There's a reason for everything,
a season for everything.
I don't possess any magic trait in my blood. I don't even believe in magic. They are just illusions.
It's been quite some time since I wrote my blog right. Been months, hmm... 4-5 months?
I don't know what's been to me. Perhaps I'm lazy to blog.
Well, here's one of my latest entries. I'm grateful for what God had done. I finished my exams paper. A for chemistry and biology and D for maths. I'm very disappointed with my maths results. Ask me why? I didn't really practise I suppose. I was over confident. Way over. On that day before my maths paper, I hardly did any work because I was confident of my own ability. And ouch, the grade 'D' hurts. What's more, I knew how to do and it's all the carelessness that makes me cry. God, what are You trying to teach me in this?
Rely not on my own ability but the Lord's wisdom and strength.
For chemistry and biology, I was confident too. Here's my secret. I'm no mugger. It's God's wisdom and consistency. I mean, God will help those who help themselves. Humans submit to God what they cannot control.(hmm... this statement is quite controversial) I can't control the marker who marks my script. I can't control the mood of my marker. I just leave them all to God. I helped myself with consistency and God's wisdom filled in the gaps of my knowledge. God is loving. The saying 'you reap what you sow' is true.
Just some truth from myself: I think muggers are those who study hardcore. Although this term is relative to various individuals. But I didn't stay up all night to study for my papers. I stopped everyday at ten pm and I go and meet God. I am still lazy to study too because I feel confident partly and because I am just reluctance to start work at times.So I am still classified as one? God knows how much I study, you ask Him.
Dear Father in Heaven,
hallowed be Thy Name. God, may my results glorify thee. Lord, I know without Your wisdom I am not capable of even writing out the answers. Father, I thank You for sustaining me through this exams and I thank You that I may be able to glorify You. Lord, help me lean not on my own understanding but on Yours which transcends all understanding on earth and heaven. I praise You for what You've done from the Cross to the very day that I was born and up til this day. Thy kingdom come. Thy kingdom come. In Jesus' most Precious Name, Amen.
There's a reason for everything,
a season for everything.
Thursday, January 20, 2005
Tsunami
Hallowed be Thy Name.
I just want to share my meditation with you all. I was asking God why He has allowed the tsunami to happen. Well, I have part of His answer.
Life is just so fragile. Anything can happen to you any moment. If you were hit by a tsunami, what will you be thinking of at the very last moment on earth? Would it be your lifetime of regrets, your loved ones or ETERNITY?
The question is where will you go when your life on earth ends? Does life just stop here?
If it takes a tsunami to make people realise how unprepared they are for eternity, if I were God, why not just let it happen since it will attract attentions of the masses? It's not about an-unloving God who doesn't care and just want to kill people. It's STILL, still, STILL about love. God truly loves everyone and He had planned the tsunami to make people realise how deep they have sank into the desires of this world. How unprepared they are for eternity. God loves you and He longs for you to love Him too but it's a personal choice though. Well, if you choose to love Him, see you in heaven. Otherwise, I do hope God will reach you someday. God loves us so much that He sent His only Son to die for us so that whoever shall believe in Him will not perish in hell but have eternal life. God has prepared the way for us to go to heaven which is to believe that Jesus, who was crucified, is the Son of God whom died on behalf of our sins and rose 3 days later from the dead. God prepared this way to reunite Man with Him so that we will not perish in hell. His love of preparing a way to heaven shows us how much He desires us to be with Him in heaven where everyone will be satisfied FOREVER. God wants to spend the rest of eternity with us, Forever.
Think about it. If you died in the tsunami and if you were given a second chance to live a life. How would you live it?You don't have many days, who knows, you may not live to tomorrow.
P.S: God loves you. Don't regret in the end by rejecting Him.
Just Believe.
I just want to share my meditation with you all. I was asking God why He has allowed the tsunami to happen. Well, I have part of His answer.
Life is just so fragile. Anything can happen to you any moment. If you were hit by a tsunami, what will you be thinking of at the very last moment on earth? Would it be your lifetime of regrets, your loved ones or ETERNITY?
The question is where will you go when your life on earth ends? Does life just stop here?
If it takes a tsunami to make people realise how unprepared they are for eternity, if I were God, why not just let it happen since it will attract attentions of the masses? It's not about an-unloving God who doesn't care and just want to kill people. It's STILL, still, STILL about love. God truly loves everyone and He had planned the tsunami to make people realise how deep they have sank into the desires of this world. How unprepared they are for eternity. God loves you and He longs for you to love Him too but it's a personal choice though. Well, if you choose to love Him, see you in heaven. Otherwise, I do hope God will reach you someday. God loves us so much that He sent His only Son to die for us so that whoever shall believe in Him will not perish in hell but have eternal life. God has prepared the way for us to go to heaven which is to believe that Jesus, who was crucified, is the Son of God whom died on behalf of our sins and rose 3 days later from the dead. God prepared this way to reunite Man with Him so that we will not perish in hell. His love of preparing a way to heaven shows us how much He desires us to be with Him in heaven where everyone will be satisfied FOREVER. God wants to spend the rest of eternity with us, Forever.
Think about it. If you died in the tsunami and if you were given a second chance to live a life. How would you live it?You don't have many days, who knows, you may not live to tomorrow.
P.S: God loves you. Don't regret in the end by rejecting Him.
Just Believe.
Sunday, December 12, 2004
God didn't send an angel
Dear God, I sincerely seek Your forgiveness. I haven't been blogging these few weeks and it's not because of any valid excuse, I just wasted my time on other worldy stuff. I need a spiritual check-up to examine my condition of my soul. Sorry, God.
On 4th of Dec, I was back at Singapore after an enriching trip at Sarawak. If I had a choice, I would be more than delighted to stay there. However, I can't. I have no choice, I have to be accountable for my sheep in Singapore.
When I was back, at the very doorstep of my house, I discovered that I didn't have keys to enter. Furthermore, I have been stocking up my egested waste near its exit for almost 1 and a 1/2 days. Whenever the thought of home or the comfortable feeling of home seeps into my heart, I would feel a need to relieve myself. It comes naturally, I need not any fibre to boost my bowel movements. I guess it's a God-given comfort. SO, I was at my very doorstep with this burning desire to sit on the throne. There was serious a burning within me, physical burn because of my tummyache. I was desperate to seek relief. Help, God! I prayed. To reveal my desperation, my first prayer was asking God for the power to open my locked door miraclously.
Didn't work. If it happened, wow. I will add it to one of my greatest testimonies of God's miracles. I was hanging on there, holding back the "floodgates". "Oh Sovereign God, I trust You that You didn't want me to break into my house. I trust that You will deliver me."Amen.
The lift door opened. Hurray! I was expecting my brother to come home. Well, ironically not. It was my neighbour. She was a lady in her sixties. Kind-hearted lady. She saw that I had a queasy look and asked if I need to use the washroom. I glady accepted her invitation. I rushed into her house, headed to where I was supposed to and sold all my stocks. Made a huge pile of "relief".
Thank You, Father for answering my prayers. I love You. Well, my God is a creative God. He has many ways of deliverance. He didn't do any miraclous signs or send me an angel. However, He did the most simple thing of sending someone to help me. For this, I'm truly grateful and I would personally view this as a miracle myself.
P.S :=) People, God is real.Amen.
On 4th of Dec, I was back at Singapore after an enriching trip at Sarawak. If I had a choice, I would be more than delighted to stay there. However, I can't. I have no choice, I have to be accountable for my sheep in Singapore.
When I was back, at the very doorstep of my house, I discovered that I didn't have keys to enter. Furthermore, I have been stocking up my egested waste near its exit for almost 1 and a 1/2 days. Whenever the thought of home or the comfortable feeling of home seeps into my heart, I would feel a need to relieve myself. It comes naturally, I need not any fibre to boost my bowel movements. I guess it's a God-given comfort. SO, I was at my very doorstep with this burning desire to sit on the throne. There was serious a burning within me, physical burn because of my tummyache. I was desperate to seek relief. Help, God! I prayed. To reveal my desperation, my first prayer was asking God for the power to open my locked door miraclously.
Didn't work. If it happened, wow. I will add it to one of my greatest testimonies of God's miracles. I was hanging on there, holding back the "floodgates". "Oh Sovereign God, I trust You that You didn't want me to break into my house. I trust that You will deliver me."Amen.
The lift door opened. Hurray! I was expecting my brother to come home. Well, ironically not. It was my neighbour. She was a lady in her sixties. Kind-hearted lady. She saw that I had a queasy look and asked if I need to use the washroom. I glady accepted her invitation. I rushed into her house, headed to where I was supposed to and sold all my stocks. Made a huge pile of "relief".
Thank You, Father for answering my prayers. I love You. Well, my God is a creative God. He has many ways of deliverance. He didn't do any miraclous signs or send me an angel. However, He did the most simple thing of sending someone to help me. For this, I'm truly grateful and I would personally view this as a miracle myself.
P.S :=) People, God is real.Amen.
SarawaKian Kee
This would be an account of my Sarawak Trip:
Jesus Christ is Lord and Saviour. Hallelujah!
I really want to thank God for embarking with me on this trip to Sarawak. It was truly relaxing a joyful trip. I wished I could stay there forever. Sarawak is paradise. Ok, actually we lived with these people called the Ibans. They lived in the jungles of Kapit. We needed to take a boat ride into their village and imagine how fun it was! It was just like a discovery channel documentary where you head deeper into the woods. I want to thank God for answering my prayer too, on restoring my vision. I'm short sighted. At Rumah Lulut, the village's name, it's greener than Singapore. It's surrounded by jungles all its perimeter. It's so green, so how can I tell me eyes not to heal? I'm sure my vision improved a bit, but not totally restored to 6/6 though.
I will just give a general outline of thanksgiving. I want to thank God for bringing me there. It turned out better than I expected. All the friends that I have made, the serving I had done for my Lord Jesus. Because I have less things to focus on myself there, my mind was totally thinking about the doing things for the Lord Jesus Christ, practising the art of servanthood. I invited the presence of Jesus wherever I went, through this trip I've drawn closer to God. Reempahsizing on the fact that Sarawak is paradise, let me derive my explanation. The Ibans live a simple life. They do not have many aspirations or desires. Every morning, the men of the village will wake up around 6am to sit by the river cliff to stone. They are not really hooked to television or computer games, rather they were not rich enough to buy personal computers. They live on simple entertainment like talking and for the kids, they played with bugs, go fishing, swim in the river, play skipping stones in the river and many more. It's definitely unlike Singapore where we have casinos, pubs, movie theatres, shopping malls, computer games to entertain our lives. I thank God for letting me cherish the life I have in Singapore, to have all these entertainment devices and mediums. Sarawak is worry-free. I seldom miss my Singapore loved ones or my house there. Truly, because I'm so burdened here in Singapore. My sheep, my studies, my life. At Sarawak, there's nothing to worry about. There's always breakfast, lunch and dinner and a mattress to sleep on every night. Everyday, it's just do the work you are assigned to and upon completion, you can rest. So simple. I like it.
I believe through this trip, I have becomed more independent myself. I have learnt to take care of my own safety, I have learned ruggedness, endurance(through the tedious construction works), tolerance to people's complaints, seeking the needs of others before self-interest, and many more. It has been a marvellous trip beyond words could to describe my experience there. I hope my adventure of Sarawak would be dated in my memory forever. Oh ya, the most interesting was to bathe in the river. Havoc! It was so cool and refreshing but bearing in mind that the water is not clear. We assumed it is and we just continued our daily washing up. A toast to my Lord, for making this happen in my life. God is good. He made me realise that I've been worrying too much in Singapore. I must give Him all my burdens and concerns so that in my heart, His peace would reign in me forever. Amen.
Dear Father in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy Kingdom come. Give me Your daily bread, forgive me trangressions and deliver me from the hands of the evil one. I thank God for this trip to make me enjoy every detail of it. I wish I hadn't part from Sarawak. However, I know I have God's work to do locally. I pray that through this I would treasure Your blessings upon me more, may my lips be filled with endless praise for You. I want to testify Your love for me. I want to worship You sincerely. God, I pray that You will continue to renew my mind each day with Your love, fill me with the fullness of Your grace. May Your Spirit lead me on to glorify You. I pray all these in Jesus' most Holy, Precious and Sweetest name. Amen.
Jesus Christ is Lord and Saviour. Hallelujah!
I really want to thank God for embarking with me on this trip to Sarawak. It was truly relaxing a joyful trip. I wished I could stay there forever. Sarawak is paradise. Ok, actually we lived with these people called the Ibans. They lived in the jungles of Kapit. We needed to take a boat ride into their village and imagine how fun it was! It was just like a discovery channel documentary where you head deeper into the woods. I want to thank God for answering my prayer too, on restoring my vision. I'm short sighted. At Rumah Lulut, the village's name, it's greener than Singapore. It's surrounded by jungles all its perimeter. It's so green, so how can I tell me eyes not to heal? I'm sure my vision improved a bit, but not totally restored to 6/6 though.
I will just give a general outline of thanksgiving. I want to thank God for bringing me there. It turned out better than I expected. All the friends that I have made, the serving I had done for my Lord Jesus. Because I have less things to focus on myself there, my mind was totally thinking about the doing things for the Lord Jesus Christ, practising the art of servanthood. I invited the presence of Jesus wherever I went, through this trip I've drawn closer to God. Reempahsizing on the fact that Sarawak is paradise, let me derive my explanation. The Ibans live a simple life. They do not have many aspirations or desires. Every morning, the men of the village will wake up around 6am to sit by the river cliff to stone. They are not really hooked to television or computer games, rather they were not rich enough to buy personal computers. They live on simple entertainment like talking and for the kids, they played with bugs, go fishing, swim in the river, play skipping stones in the river and many more. It's definitely unlike Singapore where we have casinos, pubs, movie theatres, shopping malls, computer games to entertain our lives. I thank God for letting me cherish the life I have in Singapore, to have all these entertainment devices and mediums. Sarawak is worry-free. I seldom miss my Singapore loved ones or my house there. Truly, because I'm so burdened here in Singapore. My sheep, my studies, my life. At Sarawak, there's nothing to worry about. There's always breakfast, lunch and dinner and a mattress to sleep on every night. Everyday, it's just do the work you are assigned to and upon completion, you can rest. So simple. I like it.
I believe through this trip, I have becomed more independent myself. I have learnt to take care of my own safety, I have learned ruggedness, endurance(through the tedious construction works), tolerance to people's complaints, seeking the needs of others before self-interest, and many more. It has been a marvellous trip beyond words could to describe my experience there. I hope my adventure of Sarawak would be dated in my memory forever. Oh ya, the most interesting was to bathe in the river. Havoc! It was so cool and refreshing but bearing in mind that the water is not clear. We assumed it is and we just continued our daily washing up. A toast to my Lord, for making this happen in my life. God is good. He made me realise that I've been worrying too much in Singapore. I must give Him all my burdens and concerns so that in my heart, His peace would reign in me forever. Amen.
Dear Father in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy Kingdom come. Give me Your daily bread, forgive me trangressions and deliver me from the hands of the evil one. I thank God for this trip to make me enjoy every detail of it. I wish I hadn't part from Sarawak. However, I know I have God's work to do locally. I pray that through this I would treasure Your blessings upon me more, may my lips be filled with endless praise for You. I want to testify Your love for me. I want to worship You sincerely. God, I pray that You will continue to renew my mind each day with Your love, fill me with the fullness of Your grace. May Your Spirit lead me on to glorify You. I pray all these in Jesus' most Holy, Precious and Sweetest name. Amen.
Friday, November 19, 2004
A Final Say
As I write this entry, Oh Lord bless me with Your Holy Spirit's guidance. Lead me, Lord in Your ways of righteousness. In Jesus' most Precious name. Amen. This is going to be a long blog, please be patient. Thank you.
Update:
"80bucks," the phone bill read. Fuming anger was building up in my dad. Angst filled my brother's mind. But, they remained silent. A sense of guilt should be in my soul. No, I didn't feel that. I was feeling neutral, nothing. Perhaps I was playing computer that's why, it always takes me out of reality.
My brother, the computer freak was actually mad at me for spending so much money on the phone. Well, he's not wrong. However, I've been the one who has been patient with him. He's been stuck at the computer for ages. Whenever I'm in the house, I would see him pasted to the computer. Super Glued. Stucked. Whatever. Just angry that his whole life is revolving about the computer. Sigh...and now, he's the one mad at me. How ironic!
People say time flies. Well, I say money flies. Because time is equals to money. Ok, that's lame.(haven't been like that for quite some time.) Money flies like the dragonfly. Once it's gone, it's hard to catch it. It has many eyes to escape your grasp. As I was preparing for the sarawak trip, money just kept on disappearing without my check. Pay this, pay that. Look at the wallet again, EMPTY. Ask from my mother again for new income. Reality seeps in. Money is one of the blessings of God and if I learn to treasure money and use it wisely for God's glory instead of spending it on worldy things that will soon pass away. I began to felt the guilt as I see money vanishing before me very eyes. I felt the ache. The ache that causes splits open your heart when you spent your precious earned money. Ouch. Ouch. I've realised I really spent a lot of money already. sigh and I'm going to spend more during the trip.
What God has made me learn is that as one grows in faith, the one thing people will learn how to handle is money. Money is earthly treasure given by God's grace. There's a parable about the talent which God said in Matthew 25:14-30. Talent is money. Although it does not say about spending away the talents but my point is that I don't use God's blessing of money by multiplying it. I spend it recklessly without thinking. When I started thinking, it's too late. Please forgive me Lord, for my reckless spending. Bless me guidance from the Holy Spirit on issues of money. Thank You Lord for I trust in Your Holy counsel.
Mission Trip: Sarawak.
I've been called to proceed towards sarawak to aid a rural community there. Well, it's God's calling(hmm some of you may not understand this). Although He didn't speak to me vocally but He guides me without me knowing. I'm following His path. Through this trip, I hope to learn things to develop my character. Firstly, there will be a language barrier between my team and the natives there for they speak malay and their native language. I hope to learn how to develop good communication skills with my team and the people there. I want to practise serving people with sincerity. I believe God is leading me on this path of serving and He wants me to gain more experience in this area. With God's strength, I hope to develop patience and the attitude of servanthood. Through this, I hope to be more considerate and seeing to fulfil the needs of others as a true servant does, I hope to establish sincere fellowship with people, I hope to be more independent. I will learn to take care of myself and be responsible for my actions. I also would like to be blessed with understanding from the Holy Spirit to be sensitive enough to the feelings of the people I'll interact with. God's grace be with me always. Amen.
My mother asked me to bring my Bible along to the trip. Wow. That's something I'm pleased to hear. I didn't expect her to say that although she is discreetly against my relationship with God.
Well, things are turning up good. God is working in the hearts of my family. Salvation is to come. Amen.
Prayers:
Dear Father in Heaven, hallowed be Thy Name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done. Deliver us from the arms of evil and forgive us for our transgressions.
Cell members:
My dearest brothers and sister in Christ(Wow, I feel like Paul writing a letter.), I pray the Lord will keep you in His protective care and He will continue to light the fire of passion in you all. Let this flame burn strongly within their souls for You, Oh Sovereign Lord. I pray that the Holy Spirit will be your guidance in every step you take in your lives. May you surrender your hearts to God and let him take control of Your life. Things will never go wrong with Him in control. I pray Lord that You will take deeper into authentic fellowship with one another and continue to use them to strengthen each other's faith, to comfort, to encourage, to forgive and to love. I entrust them into Your care, lead them in your ways of righteousness and let the whole world know that they are Your disciples. May they reflect Your Glory more.
Fellow Church members:
My dear brothers and sisters, I pray that God will continue to speak into Your lives and reveal your strengths and weaknesses that you may submit to God these, and let Him use it for His glory. I pray God that they will continue to be humble, available and obedient towards You. Remove all spiritual earwax that is preventing them from hearing Your voice. Revive the hearts of who are spiritually dead. Bless the passionate with consistent spiritual fervor. I pray that God will continue to bless You will His love and may you all share His love to the people around your lives. Oh Lord, bless them with Your strength and renewed mind to do Your daily work You have assigned them to do and may they do it will a grateful heart and with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
Team ACJC:
Dear God, to this dedicated team of servants who are going towards a survival training trip in Sarawak to help those people in need, I pray that You will bless us with renewed strength everyday. Bless us with the determination, perseverance and tenacity to strive on towards our goals and may You bless us with a gentle and sincere heart when we approach the natives there. I pray that Your angels will protect us from any injuries. May our time there be fruitful and may it bring glory to Your Name. I pray for understanding and cohesion in this team, I pray that by Your peace that You have blessed us with, we will resolve conflicts with peace and through this trip, we will continue to grow strong in our faith. Bless our path Oh God with Your safety and assurances. May we place our trust in You always and deliver us in times of need.
The Lost Sheep:
Dear Lord Jesus, I pray that You will continue to work in their souls. Let Your love penetrate deep into their hardened hearts. I pray that You will use circumstances to draw them towards their path of salvation. I pray that they will have more opportunities to witness, the courage to speak up, a rapid spread of the Good News and more servants rising up to redeem these lost sheep. Bless them with Your wisdom, God and let them be filled with Your knowledge and not the wisdom of this world. Guide them gently with Your hands. Into Your secure hands, I commit them.
ACJC classmates of light:
I pray that God's fire will continue to burn in you and you will ever be in spiritual fervor, seeking eagerly to honour and seek God. I pray that God will continue to water the faith plant in you all. Let His great love binds all of us together deeper in fellowship and may we be able to help each other in our spiritual lives. May we lead godly lives so that people may praise the Father in heaven for the light they see in us. Bless us with Your peace always when we do Your work. Continue to sow seeds in our hearts and may we yield good fruit. Thank You God for watching over my classmates.
A story by me:
Our lives is like a driving a car. From young, we slowly learn how to drive this car and we are very slow learners. We are striving to be perfect in our driving skills everyday from the experience we are picking up. In this road called life, we drive this car. We drive as we like, there are many routes that we can turn to. Some routes are good, some routes are bad. Although there are road signs that warns us, we can choose to risk our safety for the benefits of that route(s). These rewards may not do good to your car and in fact may cause long term damage to your cars. There are roads that are deceiving and they lead us into danger. But one thing we know, we never what is at the end of the road. That's why we need an experienced driver in our life.Well, the happy thing is, I know this driver. May I introduce Him to you all. His name is Jesus! He knows all the routes. His streetwise nature transcends all things. He knows which routes are good and bad. The even happier news is, He is willing to drive your car for you for the rest of your lives that is if you give him control in your steering wheel. Ain't it great that we have such an experienced and streetwise driver? You need no longer need to worry about where to head in your life and in His hands, He will drive us safely unto the path road of light always. He loves us so much that He's always willing to drive our car if we seek Him. He doesn't wants us to be in danger because of His love for us but He can only enter your lives with your acknowledgement.
If you feel that you are always at a loss of where to head in your life, don't worry. For now, there's a solution. That's God. One condition is that You accept Him as Lord of your life.
My dear friends, I bid farewell to you. Take care of my sheep. I hope to see the good work God has done in your lives when I return. I'll be back on 4th december with more testimonies. Be excited in your anticipation. No worries about me because I have Jesus in me. Don't worry about my spiritual growth for it's a Christian community there. I'll be attending service there!Finally, God's Grace to be with you always. In Jesus' most Precious and Sweetest name, I pray. Amen.
Update:
"80bucks," the phone bill read. Fuming anger was building up in my dad. Angst filled my brother's mind. But, they remained silent. A sense of guilt should be in my soul. No, I didn't feel that. I was feeling neutral, nothing. Perhaps I was playing computer that's why, it always takes me out of reality.
My brother, the computer freak was actually mad at me for spending so much money on the phone. Well, he's not wrong. However, I've been the one who has been patient with him. He's been stuck at the computer for ages. Whenever I'm in the house, I would see him pasted to the computer. Super Glued. Stucked. Whatever. Just angry that his whole life is revolving about the computer. Sigh...and now, he's the one mad at me. How ironic!
People say time flies. Well, I say money flies. Because time is equals to money. Ok, that's lame.(haven't been like that for quite some time.) Money flies like the dragonfly. Once it's gone, it's hard to catch it. It has many eyes to escape your grasp. As I was preparing for the sarawak trip, money just kept on disappearing without my check. Pay this, pay that. Look at the wallet again, EMPTY. Ask from my mother again for new income. Reality seeps in. Money is one of the blessings of God and if I learn to treasure money and use it wisely for God's glory instead of spending it on worldy things that will soon pass away. I began to felt the guilt as I see money vanishing before me very eyes. I felt the ache. The ache that causes splits open your heart when you spent your precious earned money. Ouch. Ouch. I've realised I really spent a lot of money already. sigh and I'm going to spend more during the trip.
What God has made me learn is that as one grows in faith, the one thing people will learn how to handle is money. Money is earthly treasure given by God's grace. There's a parable about the talent which God said in Matthew 25:14-30. Talent is money. Although it does not say about spending away the talents but my point is that I don't use God's blessing of money by multiplying it. I spend it recklessly without thinking. When I started thinking, it's too late. Please forgive me Lord, for my reckless spending. Bless me guidance from the Holy Spirit on issues of money. Thank You Lord for I trust in Your Holy counsel.
Mission Trip: Sarawak.
I've been called to proceed towards sarawak to aid a rural community there. Well, it's God's calling(hmm some of you may not understand this). Although He didn't speak to me vocally but He guides me without me knowing. I'm following His path. Through this trip, I hope to learn things to develop my character. Firstly, there will be a language barrier between my team and the natives there for they speak malay and their native language. I hope to learn how to develop good communication skills with my team and the people there. I want to practise serving people with sincerity. I believe God is leading me on this path of serving and He wants me to gain more experience in this area. With God's strength, I hope to develop patience and the attitude of servanthood. Through this, I hope to be more considerate and seeing to fulfil the needs of others as a true servant does, I hope to establish sincere fellowship with people, I hope to be more independent. I will learn to take care of myself and be responsible for my actions. I also would like to be blessed with understanding from the Holy Spirit to be sensitive enough to the feelings of the people I'll interact with. God's grace be with me always. Amen.
My mother asked me to bring my Bible along to the trip. Wow. That's something I'm pleased to hear. I didn't expect her to say that although she is discreetly against my relationship with God.
Well, things are turning up good. God is working in the hearts of my family. Salvation is to come. Amen.
Prayers:
Dear Father in Heaven, hallowed be Thy Name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done. Deliver us from the arms of evil and forgive us for our transgressions.
Cell members:
My dearest brothers and sister in Christ(Wow, I feel like Paul writing a letter.), I pray the Lord will keep you in His protective care and He will continue to light the fire of passion in you all. Let this flame burn strongly within their souls for You, Oh Sovereign Lord. I pray that the Holy Spirit will be your guidance in every step you take in your lives. May you surrender your hearts to God and let him take control of Your life. Things will never go wrong with Him in control. I pray Lord that You will take deeper into authentic fellowship with one another and continue to use them to strengthen each other's faith, to comfort, to encourage, to forgive and to love. I entrust them into Your care, lead them in your ways of righteousness and let the whole world know that they are Your disciples. May they reflect Your Glory more.
Fellow Church members:
My dear brothers and sisters, I pray that God will continue to speak into Your lives and reveal your strengths and weaknesses that you may submit to God these, and let Him use it for His glory. I pray God that they will continue to be humble, available and obedient towards You. Remove all spiritual earwax that is preventing them from hearing Your voice. Revive the hearts of who are spiritually dead. Bless the passionate with consistent spiritual fervor. I pray that God will continue to bless You will His love and may you all share His love to the people around your lives. Oh Lord, bless them with Your strength and renewed mind to do Your daily work You have assigned them to do and may they do it will a grateful heart and with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
Team ACJC:
Dear God, to this dedicated team of servants who are going towards a survival training trip in Sarawak to help those people in need, I pray that You will bless us with renewed strength everyday. Bless us with the determination, perseverance and tenacity to strive on towards our goals and may You bless us with a gentle and sincere heart when we approach the natives there. I pray that Your angels will protect us from any injuries. May our time there be fruitful and may it bring glory to Your Name. I pray for understanding and cohesion in this team, I pray that by Your peace that You have blessed us with, we will resolve conflicts with peace and through this trip, we will continue to grow strong in our faith. Bless our path Oh God with Your safety and assurances. May we place our trust in You always and deliver us in times of need.
The Lost Sheep:
Dear Lord Jesus, I pray that You will continue to work in their souls. Let Your love penetrate deep into their hardened hearts. I pray that You will use circumstances to draw them towards their path of salvation. I pray that they will have more opportunities to witness, the courage to speak up, a rapid spread of the Good News and more servants rising up to redeem these lost sheep. Bless them with Your wisdom, God and let them be filled with Your knowledge and not the wisdom of this world. Guide them gently with Your hands. Into Your secure hands, I commit them.
ACJC classmates of light:
I pray that God's fire will continue to burn in you and you will ever be in spiritual fervor, seeking eagerly to honour and seek God. I pray that God will continue to water the faith plant in you all. Let His great love binds all of us together deeper in fellowship and may we be able to help each other in our spiritual lives. May we lead godly lives so that people may praise the Father in heaven for the light they see in us. Bless us with Your peace always when we do Your work. Continue to sow seeds in our hearts and may we yield good fruit. Thank You God for watching over my classmates.
A story by me:
Our lives is like a driving a car. From young, we slowly learn how to drive this car and we are very slow learners. We are striving to be perfect in our driving skills everyday from the experience we are picking up. In this road called life, we drive this car. We drive as we like, there are many routes that we can turn to. Some routes are good, some routes are bad. Although there are road signs that warns us, we can choose to risk our safety for the benefits of that route(s). These rewards may not do good to your car and in fact may cause long term damage to your cars. There are roads that are deceiving and they lead us into danger. But one thing we know, we never what is at the end of the road. That's why we need an experienced driver in our life.Well, the happy thing is, I know this driver. May I introduce Him to you all. His name is Jesus! He knows all the routes. His streetwise nature transcends all things. He knows which routes are good and bad. The even happier news is, He is willing to drive your car for you for the rest of your lives that is if you give him control in your steering wheel. Ain't it great that we have such an experienced and streetwise driver? You need no longer need to worry about where to head in your life and in His hands, He will drive us safely unto the path road of light always. He loves us so much that He's always willing to drive our car if we seek Him. He doesn't wants us to be in danger because of His love for us but He can only enter your lives with your acknowledgement.
If you feel that you are always at a loss of where to head in your life, don't worry. For now, there's a solution. That's God. One condition is that You accept Him as Lord of your life.
My dear friends, I bid farewell to you. Take care of my sheep. I hope to see the good work God has done in your lives when I return. I'll be back on 4th december with more testimonies. Be excited in your anticipation. No worries about me because I have Jesus in me. Don't worry about my spiritual growth for it's a Christian community there. I'll be attending service there!Finally, God's Grace to be with you always. In Jesus' most Precious and Sweetest name, I pray. Amen.
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
The Dream: The Room
P.S: This is an extract taken from "I kissed dating goodbye" By Joshua Harris.
A must read recommedation from me.
In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for one wall covered with small index-card files. They were like the ones in the libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.
And then without being told, I knew exaclty where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match.
A sense of wonder can curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their contents. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I have betrayed."
The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I have read," "Lies I have told," "Comfort I have given", "Jokes I have laughed at." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've yelled at my brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I have done in anger," "Things I have muttered under my breath at my parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes there were fewer than I hoped.
I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my twenty years to write each of these thousands, possibly millions, of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written with my signature.
When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I have listened to," I realised the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I kenw that file represented.
When I came to a file "Lustful thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed contents. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.
Suddenly I felt an almost animal rage. One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" in an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took the file at one end and began pounding it on the floor , I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.
Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore "People I have shared the Gospel with." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.
And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that the hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.
But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh anyone but Jesus.
I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?
Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.
Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.
"No!" I shouted, rushing towards Him. All I could find to say was, "No, no, " as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.
He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and continued to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished."
I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.
To be written... to be continued... to remember the Blood that cleansed our sins...to engrave in our minds and our hearts and our souls the amazing love that was demostrated... to live with conviction... to do things all for the Glory of God. In Jesus' most Precious and Sweetest Name. Amen.
There's currently no song stuck in my head.
Thought of the day: Marriage is more than what you think it is.
A must read recommedation from me.
In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for one wall covered with small index-card files. They were like the ones in the libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.
And then without being told, I knew exaclty where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match.
A sense of wonder can curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their contents. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I have betrayed."
The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I have read," "Lies I have told," "Comfort I have given", "Jokes I have laughed at." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've yelled at my brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I have done in anger," "Things I have muttered under my breath at my parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes there were fewer than I hoped.
I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my twenty years to write each of these thousands, possibly millions, of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written with my signature.
When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I have listened to," I realised the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I kenw that file represented.
When I came to a file "Lustful thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed contents. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.
Suddenly I felt an almost animal rage. One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" in an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took the file at one end and began pounding it on the floor , I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.
Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore "People I have shared the Gospel with." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.
And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that the hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.
But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh anyone but Jesus.
I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?
Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.
Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.
"No!" I shouted, rushing towards Him. All I could find to say was, "No, no, " as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.
He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and continued to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished."
I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.
To be written... to be continued... to remember the Blood that cleansed our sins...to engrave in our minds and our hearts and our souls the amazing love that was demostrated... to live with conviction... to do things all for the Glory of God. In Jesus' most Precious and Sweetest Name. Amen.
There's currently no song stuck in my head.
Thought of the day: Marriage is more than what you think it is.
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