To Testify Your Love

Stop giving me the glory...

2006-03-02T07:00:00.000+08:00

Or my ego will inflate.

I don't know why. I woke up this morning and I felt an urge to blog this down. Yesterday was the release of A levels results. It all happened too quickly for my mind, body and soul to grasp the reality. I wish I could indulge more at that moment of brilliance, glory. Feels so good. But the glory aint mine. It belongs to God.

I wonder if anyone is reading this. It's been long time since I blogged. Well, if you happen to read this, leave a message ok? cool.

I wish I could upload this picture to display my result. It'a a picture of a pack of AAA energizer batteries. By telling this, can you guess what I got for my A levels??? I took 3 A level subject and 1 AO level, that's GP. If you still can't get it, I got 3 As and B3 for GP. I feel elated, like I could advertise for Nike air. Let me go back to that moment before I received that results.

Rewinding.

The Night before:
All's well. Feeling a little drowsy, so I slept well. Didn't worry or felt anxious about the release of results. Like I don't really bother. Just like a another normal day.

The Day of Glory:
I feltl lost. Somehow my heart has wandered off elsewhere. My body was physically present at the school hall but I felt weird, somewhat empty. Like there's something missing. I guess I don't really care what kind of results I would get. Just plainly can't be bothered. So I was there floating along with the crowd as they announced those who had distinctions. Graduadlly, I was awakened by reality. I started to feel nervous. (For the 1st time) And then, there was this voice inside me.

"So, do you think you will get 3As??"

I wanted to ignore it. I prayed and talked to my God.

"God, I wanted 3As and a B3 for my A levels and I claimed that gift in Jesus' name already. So, ask that voice to stop pestering me with lies."

The next thing I knew, I was being called to stage. I felt composed. Like I deserved it, like I expected it all along. I'm not being arrogant. But this was really how I felt. Confident. After every paper of the A level, I would feel good. Like I managed to scrap an A out of the paper. Like those kind of low A and nearly falling into B kind of results. However, I just felt I was confident of obtaining an A for every paper, excluding GP.

This is the first time, my first examination that I got what I wanted. Ain't that awesome??
I wanted 9 points for O level but I got ten and I got disappointed. Now, I got EXACTLY what I wanted. Feels so much like a dream...

I mean God, thanks to You. Since A level ended, I've been battling lies that worries me. Lies that goes on in my head that says, "Are you sure you can get 3 As?"
I just rebutted it, "I'm gonna ignore what you said because I claimed the 3As in Jesus' name already."

"but did God promised you that??"

"shut up! I believed He would bless me because I am confident of my efforts."

Just a little background information, I wasn't exactly like hardworking. I mean like those people who mug day in day out til early in the morning. I'm like those who sleep at 11pm consistently everyday. I'm more of a consistent kind of fellow. Those who does homework regularly. So it makes revision easier I guess, because most of the things I have it inside my brain already. But to have that kind of discipline, it's all God's effort. He made me such a person. My mom used to worry about me because she sees me playing computer everytime during the pre-exam period. My brother is very angry too about me playing so much. He's like, "He(me) better get good results or else I'm gonna whack him." I'm not trying to be a bad influence, to play so much before the A levels. It's just because I'm stressed. Seriously, I felt sick of studying. I wanted out, out, OUT!!! I don't want to study anymore. So, playing games was just my outlet for stress.

I deserve it right, God? I deserve the good results. Amen. After all that I went through, I thought it was only fair that I got these results.

Wow... 3As. So cool, like a dream. thanks to God.

If love was just based on feelings..

2005-09-04T10:54:00.000+08:00

Love is not a feeling. It is a decision. A mere source of willpower to do an act of kindness to a party you love.However, it can be driven by emotions but it doesn't last. We humans will tend to get tired and sick of things once in a while after doing the same old thing. So, to cultivate this long-lasting love in a successful relationship, I believe it is something that requires determination and commitment.Long lasting love comes from a personal willingness to serve the other party with his/her best interests at heart, it does not fade with feelings but increases as it is given away.

Think of the Creator of love. Our God, Jesus Christ. He himself so filled with love and compassion, that He even desires to lavish His love on us. God is the greatest example of eternal love. Imagine if God were to love us by feelings? Does it mean He will treat us as and when He likes, spite us, punish us, whenever He feels angry or jealous? What would have become of us? I doubt any human will live the face of the earth. God created humans to love us and He is committed to love us. He is a meticulous God, none of His creation is of no purpose. So He created us with careful planning to love us consistently throughout our whole life. In this world, where change is a constant, we can rest in blessed assurance in a God who never changes. He is that God who is faithful in all that He does. He promises to love us and He will. Even though we are faithless, He will still be faithful because He cannot break His own promises to us. That would make Him a liar. Someone inconsistent.

We, Humans are wired in a way to think about eternal things. Many want to live forever, they want to spend the forever with their loved ones. If God didn't create us this way, why would we even think of 'forever'. Because humans are meant to live forever. Our death on earth is just the beginning of a new life be it in hell or heaven and that would be forever. But we can trust in the promise of our God that He promises us salvation that whoever who believes in Him will be saved from the pits of hell.

God is the ultimate source of love. In Him, we can find eternal love, love that doesn't fade, love that is consistent, love that is forever and He will love you always. In order to build that relationship with long-lasting love, I believe the key is to involve Your creator in that relationship. He can fuel your lives with that passion to love each other just that He has loved us and when we love, we are pleasing God.

Love, something so complex, can kill and destroy , can edify and encourage. It can be accompanied with emotions like hate, jealousy and etc. But that makes it impure. Pure love is patient, kind, doesn't envy, doesn't boast, not rude, not self-seeking, keeps no record of wrong. It always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres.

Mugger Muggle

2005-03-13T20:25:00.000+08:00

There is one thing I admit. I'm a muggle not a mugger.

I don't possess any magic trait in my blood. I don't even believe in magic. They are just illusions.

It's been quite some time since I wrote my blog right. Been months, hmm... 4-5 months?
I don't know what's been to me. Perhaps I'm lazy to blog.

Well, here's one of my latest entries. I'm grateful for what God had done. I finished my exams paper. A for chemistry and biology and D for maths. I'm very disappointed with my maths results. Ask me why? I didn't really practise I suppose. I was over confident. Way over. On that day before my maths paper, I hardly did any work because I was confident of my own ability. And ouch, the grade 'D' hurts. What's more, I knew how to do and it's all the carelessness that makes me cry. God, what are You trying to teach me in this?

Rely not on my own ability but the Lord's wisdom and strength.

For chemistry and biology, I was confident too. Here's my secret. I'm no mugger. It's God's wisdom and consistency. I mean, God will help those who help themselves. Humans submit to God what they cannot control.(hmm... this statement is quite controversial) I can't control the marker who marks my script. I can't control the mood of my marker. I just leave them all to God. I helped myself with consistency and God's wisdom filled in the gaps of my knowledge. God is loving. The saying 'you reap what you sow' is true.

Just some truth from myself: I think muggers are those who study hardcore. Although this term is relative to various individuals. But I didn't stay up all night to study for my papers. I stopped everyday at ten pm and I go and meet God. I am still lazy to study too because I feel confident partly and because I am just reluctance to start work at times.So I am still classified as one? God knows how much I study, you ask Him.

Dear Father in Heaven,
hallowed be Thy Name. God, may my results glorify thee. Lord, I know without Your wisdom I am not capable of even writing out the answers. Father, I thank You for sustaining me through this exams and I thank You that I may be able to glorify You. Lord, help me lean not on my own understanding but on Yours which transcends all understanding on earth and heaven. I praise You for what You've done from the Cross to the very day that I was born and up til this day. Thy kingdom come. Thy kingdom come. In Jesus' most Precious Name, Amen.

There's a reason for everything,
a season for everything.

Tsunami

2005-01-20T21:55:00.000+08:00

Hallowed be Thy Name.

I just want to share my meditation with you all. I was asking God why He has allowed the tsunami to happen. Well, I have part of His answer.

Life is just so fragile. Anything can happen to you any moment. If you were hit by a tsunami, what will you be thinking of at the very last moment on earth? Would it be your lifetime of regrets, your loved ones or ETERNITY?

The question is where will you go when your life on earth ends? Does life just stop here?

If it takes a tsunami to make people realise how unprepared they are for eternity, if I were God, why not just let it happen since it will attract attentions of the masses? It's not about an-unloving God who doesn't care and just want to kill people. It's STILL, still, STILL about love. God truly loves everyone and He had planned the tsunami to make people realise how deep they have sank into the desires of this world. How unprepared they are for eternity. God loves you and He longs for you to love Him too but it's a personal choice though. Well, if you choose to love Him, see you in heaven. Otherwise, I do hope God will reach you someday. God loves us so much that He sent His only Son to die for us so that whoever shall believe in Him will not perish in hell but have eternal life. God has prepared the way for us to go to heaven which is to believe that Jesus, who was crucified, is the Son of God whom died on behalf of our sins and rose 3 days later from the dead. God prepared this way to reunite Man with Him so that we will not perish in hell. His love of preparing a way to heaven shows us how much He desires us to be with Him in heaven where everyone will be satisfied FOREVER. God wants to spend the rest of eternity with us, Forever.

Think about it. If you died in the tsunami and if you were given a second chance to live a life. How would you live it?You don't have many days, who knows, you may not live to tomorrow.

P.S: God loves you. Don't regret in the end by rejecting Him.

Just Believe.

God didn't send an angel

2004-12-12T09:23:00.000+08:00

Dear God, I sincerely seek Your forgiveness. I haven't been blogging these few weeks and it's not because of any valid excuse, I just wasted my time on other worldy stuff. I need a spiritual check-up to examine my condition of my soul. Sorry, God.

On 4th of Dec, I was back at Singapore after an enriching trip at Sarawak. If I had a choice, I would be more than delighted to stay there. However, I can't. I have no choice, I have to be accountable for my sheep in Singapore.

When I was back, at the very doorstep of my house, I discovered that I didn't have keys to enter. Furthermore, I have been stocking up my egested waste near its exit for almost 1 and a 1/2 days. Whenever the thought of home or the comfortable feeling of home seeps into my heart, I would feel a need to relieve myself. It comes naturally, I need not any fibre to boost my bowel movements. I guess it's a God-given comfort. SO, I was at my very doorstep with this burning desire to sit on the throne. There was serious a burning within me, physical burn because of my tummyache. I was desperate to seek relief. Help, God! I prayed. To reveal my desperation, my first prayer was asking God for the power to open my locked door miraclously.
Didn't work. If it happened, wow. I will add it to one of my greatest testimonies of God's miracles. I was hanging on there, holding back the "floodgates". "Oh Sovereign God, I trust You that You didn't want me to break into my house. I trust that You will deliver me."Amen.

The lift door opened. Hurray! I was expecting my brother to come home. Well, ironically not. It was my neighbour. She was a lady in her sixties. Kind-hearted lady. She saw that I had a queasy look and asked if I need to use the washroom. I glady accepted her invitation. I rushed into her house, headed to where I was supposed to and sold all my stocks. Made a huge pile of "relief".

Thank You, Father for answering my prayers. I love You. Well, my God is a creative God. He has many ways of deliverance. He didn't do any miraclous signs or send me an angel. However, He did the most simple thing of sending someone to help me. For this, I'm truly grateful and I would personally view this as a miracle myself.

P.S :=) People, God is real.Amen.

SarawaKian Kee

2004-12-12T09:00:00.000+08:00

This would be an account of my Sarawak Trip:

Jesus Christ is Lord and Saviour. Hallelujah!

I really want to thank God for embarking with me on this trip to Sarawak. It was truly relaxing a joyful trip. I wished I could stay there forever. Sarawak is paradise. Ok, actually we lived with these people called the Ibans. They lived in the jungles of Kapit. We needed to take a boat ride into their village and imagine how fun it was! It was just like a discovery channel documentary where you head deeper into the woods. I want to thank God for answering my prayer too, on restoring my vision. I'm short sighted. At Rumah Lulut, the village's name, it's greener than Singapore. It's surrounded by jungles all its perimeter. It's so green, so how can I tell me eyes not to heal? I'm sure my vision improved a bit, but not totally restored to 6/6 though.

I will just give a general outline of thanksgiving. I want to thank God for bringing me there. It turned out better than I expected. All the friends that I have made, the serving I had done for my Lord Jesus. Because I have less things to focus on myself there, my mind was totally thinking about the doing things for the Lord Jesus Christ, practising the art of servanthood. I invited the presence of Jesus wherever I went, through this trip I've drawn closer to God. Reempahsizing on the fact that Sarawak is paradise, let me derive my explanation. The Ibans live a simple life. They do not have many aspirations or desires. Every morning, the men of the village will wake up around 6am to sit by the river cliff to stone. They are not really hooked to television or computer games, rather they were not rich enough to buy personal computers. They live on simple entertainment like talking and for the kids, they played with bugs, go fishing, swim in the river, play skipping stones in the river and many more. It's definitely unlike Singapore where we have casinos, pubs, movie theatres, shopping malls, computer games to entertain our lives. I thank God for letting me cherish the life I have in Singapore, to have all these entertainment devices and mediums. Sarawak is worry-free. I seldom miss my Singapore loved ones or my house there. Truly, because I'm so burdened here in Singapore. My sheep, my studies, my life. At Sarawak, there's nothing to worry about. There's always breakfast, lunch and dinner and a mattress to sleep on every night. Everyday, it's just do the work you are assigned to and upon completion, you can rest. So simple. I like it.

I believe through this trip, I have becomed more independent myself. I have learnt to take care of my own safety, I have learned ruggedness, endurance(through the tedious construction works), tolerance to people's complaints, seeking the needs of others before self-interest, and many more. It has been a marvellous trip beyond words could to describe my experience there. I hope my adventure of Sarawak would be dated in my memory forever. Oh ya, the most interesting was to bathe in the river. Havoc! It was so cool and refreshing but bearing in mind that the water is not clear. We assumed it is and we just continued our daily washing up. A toast to my Lord, for making this happen in my life. God is good. He made me realise that I've been worrying too much in Singapore. I must give Him all my burdens and concerns so that in my heart, His peace would reign in me forever. Amen.

Dear Father in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy Kingdom come. Give me Your daily bread, forgive me trangressions and deliver me from the hands of the evil one. I thank God for this trip to make me enjoy every detail of it. I wish I hadn't part from Sarawak. However, I know I have God's work to do locally. I pray that through this I would treasure Your blessings upon me more, may my lips be filled with endless praise for You. I want to testify Your love for me. I want to worship You sincerely. God, I pray that You will continue to renew my mind each day with Your love, fill me with the fullness of Your grace. May Your Spirit lead me on to glorify You. I pray all these in Jesus' most Holy, Precious and Sweetest name. Amen.

A Final Say

2004-11-19T20:31:00.000+08:00

As I write this entry, Oh Lord bless me with Your Holy Spirit's guidance. Lead me, Lord in Your ways of righteousness. In Jesus' most Precious name. Amen. This is going to be a long blog, please be patient. Thank you.

Update:
"80bucks," the phone bill read. Fuming anger was building up in my dad. Angst filled my brother's mind. But, they remained silent. A sense of guilt should be in my soul. No, I didn't feel that. I was feeling neutral, nothing. Perhaps I was playing computer that's why, it always takes me out of reality.

My brother, the computer freak was actually mad at me for spending so much money on the phone. Well, he's not wrong. However, I've been the one who has been patient with him. He's been stuck at the computer for ages. Whenever I'm in the house, I would see him pasted to the computer. Super Glued. Stucked. Whatever. Just angry that his whole life is revolving about the computer. Sigh...and now, he's the one mad at me. How ironic!

People say time flies. Well, I say money flies. Because time is equals to money. Ok, that's lame.(haven't been like that for quite some time.) Money flies like the dragonfly. Once it's gone, it's hard to catch it. It has many eyes to escape your grasp. As I was preparing for the sarawak trip, money just kept on disappearing without my check. Pay this, pay that. Look at the wallet again, EMPTY. Ask from my mother again for new income. Reality seeps in. Money is one of the blessings of God and if I learn to treasure money and use it wisely for God's glory instead of spending it on worldy things that will soon pass away. I began to felt the guilt as I see money vanishing before me very eyes. I felt the ache. The ache that causes splits open your heart when you spent your precious earned money. Ouch. Ouch. I've realised I really spent a lot of money already. sigh and I'm going to spend more during the trip.

What God has made me learn is that as one grows in faith, the one thing people will learn how to handle is money. Money is earthly treasure given by God's grace. There's a parable about the talent which God said in Matthew 25:14-30. Talent is money. Although it does not say about spending away the talents but my point is that I don't use God's blessing of money by multiplying it. I spend it recklessly without thinking. When I started thinking, it's too late. Please forgive me Lord, for my reckless spending. Bless me guidance from the Holy Spirit on issues of money. Thank You Lord for I trust in Your Holy counsel.

Mission Trip: Sarawak.
I've been called to proceed towards sarawak to aid a rural community there. Well, it's God's calling(hmm some of you may not understand this). Although He didn't speak to me vocally but He guides me without me knowing. I'm following His path. Through this trip, I hope to learn things to develop my character. Firstly, there will be a language barrier between my team and the natives there for they speak malay and their native language. I hope to learn how to develop good communication skills with my team and the people there. I want to practise serving people with sincerity. I believe God is leading me on this path of serving and He wants me to gain more experience in this area. With God's strength, I hope to develop patience and the attitude of servanthood. Through this, I hope to be more considerate and seeing to fulfil the needs of others as a true servant does, I hope to establish sincere fellowship with people, I hope to be more independent. I will learn to take care of myself and be responsible for my actions. I also would like to be blessed with understanding from the Holy Spirit to be sensitive enough to the feelings of the people I'll interact with. God's grace be with me always. Amen.

My mother asked me to bring my Bible along to the trip. Wow. That's something I'm pleased to hear. I didn't expect her to say that although she is discreetly against my relationship with God.
Well, things are turning up good. God is working in the hearts of my family. Salvation is to come. Amen.

Prayers:
Dear Father in Heaven, hallowed be Thy Name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done. Deliver us from the arms of evil and forgive us for our transgressions.

Cell members:
My dearest brothers and sister in Christ(Wow, I feel like Paul writing a letter.), I pray the Lord will keep you in His protective care and He will continue to light the fire of passion in you all. Let this flame burn strongly within their souls for You, Oh Sovereign Lord. I pray that the Holy Spirit will be your guidance in every step you take in your lives. May you surrender your hearts to God and let him take control of Your life. Things will never go wrong with Him in control. I pray Lord that You will take deeper into authentic fellowship with one another and continue to use them to strengthen each other's faith, to comfort, to encourage, to forgive and to love. I entrust them into Your care, lead them in your ways of righteousness and let the whole world know that they are Your disciples. May they reflect Your Glory more.

Fellow Church members:
My dear brothers and sisters, I pray that God will continue to speak into Your lives and reveal your strengths and weaknesses that you may submit to God these, and let Him use it for His glory. I pray God that they will continue to be humble, available and obedient towards You. Remove all spiritual earwax that is preventing them from hearing Your voice. Revive the hearts of who are spiritually dead. Bless the passionate with consistent spiritual fervor. I pray that God will continue to bless You will His love and may you all share His love to the people around your lives. Oh Lord, bless them with Your strength and renewed mind to do Your daily work You have assigned them to do and may they do it will a grateful heart and with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Team ACJC:
Dear God, to this dedicated team of servants who are going towards a survival training trip in Sarawak to help those people in need, I pray that You will bless us with renewed strength everyday. Bless us with the determination, perseverance and tenacity to strive on towards our goals and may You bless us with a gentle and sincere heart when we approach the natives there. I pray that Your angels will protect us from any injuries. May our time there be fruitful and may it bring glory to Your Name. I pray for understanding and cohesion in this team, I pray that by Your peace that You have blessed us with, we will resolve conflicts with peace and through this trip, we will continue to grow strong in our faith. Bless our path Oh God with Your safety and assurances. May we place our trust in You always and deliver us in times of need.

The Lost Sheep:
Dear Lord Jesus, I pray that You will continue to work in their souls. Let Your love penetrate deep into their hardened hearts. I pray that You will use circumstances to draw them towards their path of salvation. I pray that they will have more opportunities to witness, the courage to speak up, a rapid spread of the Good News and more servants rising up to redeem these lost sheep. Bless them with Your wisdom, God and let them be filled with Your knowledge and not the wisdom of this world. Guide them gently with Your hands. Into Your secure hands, I commit them.

ACJC classmates of light:
I pray that God's fire will continue to burn in you and you will ever be in spiritual fervor, seeking eagerly to honour and seek God. I pray that God will continue to water the faith plant in you all. Let His great love binds all of us together deeper in fellowship and may we be able to help each other in our spiritual lives. May we lead godly lives so that people may praise the Father in heaven for the light they see in us. Bless us with Your peace always when we do Your work. Continue to sow seeds in our hearts and may we yield good fruit. Thank You God for watching over my classmates.

A story by me:
Our lives is like a driving a car. From young, we slowly learn how to drive this car and we are very slow learners. We are striving to be perfect in our driving skills everyday from the experience we are picking up. In this road called life, we drive this car. We drive as we like, there are many routes that we can turn to. Some routes are good, some routes are bad. Although there are road signs that warns us, we can choose to risk our safety for the benefits of that route(s). These rewards may not do good to your car and in fact may cause long term damage to your cars. There are roads that are deceiving and they lead us into danger. But one thing we know, we never what is at the end of the road. That's why we need an experienced driver in our life.Well, the happy thing is, I know this driver. May I introduce Him to you all. His name is Jesus! He knows all the routes. His streetwise nature transcends all things. He knows which routes are good and bad. The even happier news is, He is willing to drive your car for you for the rest of your lives that is if you give him control in your steering wheel. Ain't it great that we have such an experienced and streetwise driver? You need no longer need to worry about where to head in your life and in His hands, He will drive us safely unto the path road of light always. He loves us so much that He's always willing to drive our car if we seek Him. He doesn't wants us to be in danger because of His love for us but He can only enter your lives with your acknowledgement.
If you feel that you are always at a loss of where to head in your life, don't worry. For now, there's a solution. That's God. One condition is that You accept Him as Lord of your life.

My dear friends, I bid farewell to you. Take care of my sheep. I hope to see the good work God has done in your lives when I return. I'll be back on 4th december with more testimonies. Be excited in your anticipation. No worries about me because I have Jesus in me. Don't worry about my spiritual growth for it's a Christian community there. I'll be attending service there!Finally, God's Grace to be with you always. In Jesus' most Precious and Sweetest name, I pray. Amen.

The Dream: The Room

2004-11-09T22:28:00.000+08:00

P.S: This is an extract taken from "I kissed dating goodbye" By Joshua Harris.
A must read recommedation from me.

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for one wall covered with small index-card files. They were like the ones in the libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.

And then without being told, I knew exaclty where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match.

A sense of wonder can curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their contents. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I have betrayed."

The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I have read," "Lies I have told," "Comfort I have given", "Jokes I have laughed at." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've yelled at my brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I have done in anger," "Things I have muttered under my breath at my parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes there were fewer than I hoped.

I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my twenty years to write each of these thousands, possibly millions, of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I have listened to," I realised the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I kenw that file represented.

When I came to a file "Lustful thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed contents. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.

Suddenly I felt an almost animal rage. One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" in an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took the file at one end and began pounding it on the floor , I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore "People I have shared the Gospel with." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that the hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.

But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh anyone but Jesus.

I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?

Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.

"No!" I shouted, rushing towards Him. All I could find to say was, "No, no, " as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.

He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and continued to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished."

I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

To be written... to be continued... to remember the Blood that cleansed our sins...to engrave in our minds and our hearts and our souls the amazing love that was demostrated... to live with conviction... to do things all for the Glory of God. In Jesus' most Precious and Sweetest Name. Amen.

There's currently no song stuck in my head.

Thought of the day: Marriage is more than what you think it is.

Sometime

2004-11-08T16:02:00.000+08:00

Sometime, when all life's lessons have been learned,
And sun and stars forevermore have set,
The things which our weak judgements here have spurned,
The things o'er which we grieved with lashes wet,
Will flash before us out of life's dark night,
As stars shine most in deeper tints of blue;
And we shall see how God's plans are right
And how what seemed reproof was love most true.
Then be content poor heart;
God's plans, like lilies pure and white, unfold;
we must not tear the close-shut leaves apart, ---
Time will reveal the chalices of gold.
And if, through patient toil, we reach the land
Where tired feet, with sandals lossed, may rest,
When we shall clearly see and understand,
I think that we will say, "God knew the best!"

----Sometime, by May Riley Smith.

Dear God, Your wisdon and understanding surpasses all things below the heavens. I'm placing my life's calendar at Your feet and allowing You to handle the scheduling of my relationships. I will have patience and cherish Your gift of singleness as a gift to devote myself to pleasing You. I'll live my todays for Your kingdom and entrust my tomorrows to Your providence. I trust in Your good and loving will. Bless me with a passion to seek and please You. Thank You, Lord. Because I pray this in Jesus' most Precious ans Sweetest Name. Amen.

P.S: I'm currently reading "I kissed dating goodbye by Joshua Harris."

Christian Alphabet Poem

2004-11-03T22:45:00.000+08:00

Although things are not perfect
Because of trial and pain
Continue in thanksgiving
Do not begin to blame
Even when times are hard
Fierce winds are bound to blow
God is forever able
Hold on to what you know
Imagine life without His love
Joy would cease to be
Keep thanking Him for all the things
Love imparts to thee
Move out of "Camp Complaining"
No weapon that is known
On earth can yield the power
Praise can do alone
Quit looking at the future
Redeem the time at hand
Start everyday with worship
To "thank" is a command
Until we see Him coming
Victorious in the sky
We'll run the race with gratitude
Xalting God most high
Yes, there will be good times and yes some will be bad, but
Zion waits in glory... where none are ever sad!

Well, just wanna thank God for this poem princess Loo Loo and boyfriend gave to me for my birthday. Thank you 2, love ya lots. I find it very creative. Well, you 2 got the right gift. I like it.
Thank God that I'm able to work out today, my fats are accumulating at the wrong place. It's part of my genes, anyway I just to have to accept I'm different. God made me this way, so thank You, there's bound to be a good reason behind this. :)

Dear Father in Heaven, I look to the throne where You, the glorious King sits. I await Your day of coming, patiently I abide and hope in Your laws. Guide me in Your ways of righteousness and lift me when I fall. You are more than anything else the world can give. You are the one called Saviour, where all who believe shall live. Though I live as a child of Yours, I must admit my iniquities and helplessness for You alone are my strength and help in times of need. You are my tower of refuge where I seek shelter from mundane affairs. Help me focus on Your will and let me a reflector and magnifier of Your Glory. To God be to Glory. In Jesus' Sweetest Name, Amen.

ThingsIhavelearnt:
1.I find it hard to make people understand what I'm trying to say, especially stubborn people.

2.Stop viewing every new person of the opposite gender as a potential dating partner but as brothers or sister in Christ. ----I Kiss Dating Goodbye(Joshua Harris)

There's currently no song stucked in my head.

God does great things we don't comprehend

2004-11-02T21:16:00.000+08:00

Today, was my Project Work Oral Presentation.
It was a great test of confidence for me, which I have lost since a few years ago. My hope is in God that He will help me recover it. I guess this oral presentation was one of the steps God took to regain my confidence.

I would use to tremble or stutter at my words over these few years. I lost confidence somehow, I wasn't as charismatic as I was when I was in secondary 2. However, I would really like to thank God for today's oral presentation. Well, though it didn't turn out perfect. I know it's a learning process, I have to make mistakes so as to learn from them. That's how God teaches people. His Spirit was with me, He blessed me with confidence, He removed my doubts of fears, mental blocks and many things that I couldn't comprehend. Well, I love You, God and I really want to give You my sincerest thanks on helping me through my oral presentation. I'm grateful that my group leader made a prayer for the group before we went in. Made me put my heart at rest.

There's another thing I would like to share. I was at woodlands bus interchange today, making a decision on whether to take 963 or 187. I invited the Holy Spirit to tell me of the things to come. Holy Spirit replied, " Queue up for 963, the bus is coming soon." Although He didn't say the exact words, He gave me a gentle whisper at my ear and my mind processed His words right away. So Cool... I want more of these, Holy Spirit. It's my desire to hear Your voice. Sometimes, the Holy Spirit guides us without us knowing at all. He is there all the time, awaiting your invitation to fall afresh on You again. Also, I've learnt from my quiet time yesterday, If doubtful, Don't! That's what. When you are faced with questionable practices and a troubled conscience, we would very well follow the guideline : If Doubtful, Don't!

Dear Father in Heaven, I just wanna give You thanks for what You have done in my life today. I give You all glory and praise. You deserve them. Father, I thank You for working within me. Thank You for hearing my prayer and blessing me with Your loving hands to carry me through the oral presentation. Forgive me Oh Lord, may the blood of Jesus Christ be upon me and cleanse me of my sins. Sanctify my thoughts oh Lord, fill it with Your Holy thoughts. I just wanna commit myself into Your hands, baptize me with the Holy Spirit in every moment of my life. In Jesus' most Precious and Sweetest Name. Amen.

Thought of the day:
when you happen to have a crush on someone, you will see what you lack in your crush.

Song stucked in my head:
No one else can satisfy my soul,
make me feel this way,
only You Lord,
only You... (How could I live without You---Hillsong)

God and I leading worship.

2004-10-26T16:43:00.000+08:00

There was class devotion today and drumroll please*** I'm leading it. Actually on the day before, I was worried about how I am going to express myself tomorrow. I didn't have confidence in myself and I'm afraid I will stutter at the words I speak and probably press the wrong chord. I had some difficulty playing B minor chord under pressure. But thank God, it turned out well. I'm certain His Spirit was working within me. It was the best worship session I felt I had ever led. woohoo! God rocks my world.

I chose the song "stand up and shout if you love my Jesus" , "Jehovah Jireh" and "You alone". I started by reading to the my classmates Matthew 18:1-4 which spoke out who is the greatest in the kingdom of God. It is a child. Unless someone humbles himself before God like a child, we will never enter the kingdom of God. Following, I told them, "Let's humble ourselves before God now and worship God with a childlike heart!"

Something real cool happened. The people started to do the actions of the song. The stood and shout "If you love my Jesus!" after that, they changed the verse "Sit down and whisper if you love my Jesus." and also, "Stand up and clap if you love my Jesus." haha.. I'm absolutely delighted by the way God worked in them. My class wasn't that comfortable with each other yet but God managed to humble their hearts and make them delirious. Woohoo!!! The rest of the songs were good. Didn't really mess things up because God was with me, together and always and forever and ever more.

Hallelujah.
Dear Father in Heaven, I just want to thank You very much for leading me in worship today. Thank You for blessing me with confidence and courage. Really thank You. I felt good today after serving You. Glory be to You. Continue to bless me oh God, and lead me in Your ways of righteousness. Lord, I pray for my class. I pray that we'll continue to unite ourselves together with Your love and let us grow in Your love and strengthen our faith in You. Lord, I commit my class to Your hands and pray that You will bless them to lead a righteous life. Because I pray all this in Jesus's Most High, Precious and Sweetest Name. Amen.

Song stucked in my head:
Stand up and shout if you love me Jesus!
Stand up and shout if you love my Lord.
I want to know O ,I want to know,
If you love my Lord.

Justawildthought:
I want to marry a girl who is zealous about God,delirious. But first, I have to be zealous as well too. =)

How Could I Live Without You?

2004-10-16T23:20:00.000+08:00

How could I live without You
How could I survive without Your love
Without Your touch
You're the one that heals me
cleanses my heart
and sets me free...

Because of Jesus, I am free. I am like a dove soaring in the skies. Praise the Holy and Anointed One because of His unfailing and everlasting love. He died for me to set me free. There ain't anymore barriers that will set me apart and lock me up in that cage anymore. Taste freedom in the air.

Now I come right before You
With my hands lifted up
And my heart humbly bowed
At the work of Your cross
As You hung there and died
You were paying the price
For my life, for my life...

One day, I saw this man flying a kite. God spoke to me through that man's actions. He was an expert in kite flying. He could make the kite glide smoothly through the air, make it swoop down very close to the surface of the ground and lift it up and make it soar to heights again. I was enjoying the movement of the kite as God spoke to me. I realised God was the man while I am the kite. The wind is the grace and strength He gives me. He is the controller of my life since I surrendered my life to Him. He guides me in the directions I should go. He makes me soar into the skies at times and make me swoop down to rock bottom, but His grace is always sufficient. He will not give me harder trials than I can handle. That implies from the man's action where he let the kite glide over the surface of the ground without letting it touch the earth. Great skills. Great grace from God too as His peace is always there to prevent my fall.

Suddenly, as the kite glides over the surface of the ground, it lost balance and hit the ground. Dead. Fallen. At that time, I saw two curious wild cats advancing menacingly towards the kite. They were in a stance ready to pounce on it. However, the man drew nearer to the kite to collect it. As he approaches nearer, the cats scurried away. That's God's protection. When You fall, He will come and save you from the enemies(cats, in this case) and pick up again. God is never failing. His loves trusts, hopes and protects. Great is Your everlasting love. Amen.

For Your love is higher than the heavens
Deeper than the sea
All I want is You in my life
No one else can satisfy my soul
Make me feel this way
Only You Lord, Only You

This song really touched my heart. Indeed, Oh God, my Merciful Lord, great is Thy Love, the Heavens declare. God can satisfy my soul and all the emptiness within me. In life, we always seek to be happy. Happiness is a choice, depression is an option. You can choose to be happy. We always try to make ourselves happy but we realise all this happiness is just temporary. It ain't everlasting joy. That's why we need a Saviour for our lives. He is the one who provides everlasting things. Things that are beyond our imagination. The choice is yours, to be happy or not but I would like to say the greatest reason to be happy: If you had known the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ and had accepted Him into Your life, be happy! Because you are going to spend the rest of eternity rejoicing. Christ died for us while we were still sinners.(Romans 5:8) Rejoice in the Lord for your salvation that nothing will ever seperate you from Him ever again.

Dear Daddy in Heaven, I pray to You. Lavish Your love on me. Renew my mind with Your words and ways. Let me bear Your ways and words in my mind. Do not let me slip. Bless me the peace that surpasses all human understanding to guard my mind against lies of the devil. Bless me joy and that I would spend my everyday rejoicing and praising You. For Your grace is sufficient and You are my Shepherd, I shall not need anything. Every need of mine is fulfilled in You. Thank You, Oh God. How could I live without You? Without Your love, I wouldn't even exist in Your imagination. You created me to love me and I willingly accept this true and sincere love that no one else could provide. Only You, Lord. Only You. Arigato. In Jesus' Sweetest and Most Precious Name, bless Your prince, Oh sovereign King. Amen.

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want..." Psalms 23:1

"O LORD , hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in your faithfulness and righteousness come to my relief.
2 Do not bring your servant into judgment, for no one living is righteous before you.
3 The enemy pursues me, he crushes me to the ground; he makes me dwell in darkness like those long dead.
4 So my spirit grows faint within me; my heart within me is dismayed.
5 I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done.
6 I spread out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land. Selah
7 Answer me quickly, O LORD ; my spirit fails. Do not hide your face from me or I will be like those who go down to the pit.
8 Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.
9 Rescue me from my enemies, O LORD , for I hide myself in you.
10 Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground. 11 For your name's sake, O LORD , preserve my life; in your righteousness, bring me out of trouble.
12 In your unfailing love, silence my enemies; destroy all my foes, for I am your servant." (Psalms 143)

Song stucked in my head:
I want to be a reflector
I want to shine with your glory
I want to let the whole world know that You're Living in me
I want to burn with your fire
Shine my light a little brighter
I want to let the whole world know that
(shouts)Jesus Lives in me ----(Reflector, Planet Shakers.)

P.S: There's a mirror in front of me. Before it, I stand. When people look into the mirror, I want them to see the likeness of Christ. Amen.

My Best Friend In Holy White Garments

2004-10-10T13:49:00.000+08:00

Throughout my seventeen years of life, I've always been in search of a bestest friend and mind you, I have high expectations. Eventually, I evaluated that the one who fits most of the criteria would be my spouse because she's gonna be with me for the rest of my life on earth. That was my blindspot.

Actually, there is someone who has been there all my life, observing everything I did.
"You may not know me, but I know everything about you." Psalms 139:2.
He is one who is familiar with all my ways.(Pslams 139:3)
He knew me before I was conceived.(Jeremiah 1:4-5)
He watches me sleep and rise up.(Pslams 139:2)
And He is there all the time.
His Name is the mightest throughout all the earth and heavens. Even the mountains bow down and declare His holiness. His Name is the sweetest above all names, yes, His Name is Jesus.

Sometimes I wish Jesus was human and not spirit. Sometimes I wish I can hug Him whenever I want, wherever I want and talk to Him anytime and He would converse with me clearly. How I long to desire that kind of fellowship. It was just recently, that these lyrics and words struck me.
"who was and is and is to come."
True enough. Jesus was with me from my past, He is with me right now and there will come a time when I'm going to meet Him face to face, no physical barriers or whatsoever. When that time comes I'll no longer be human, I'll be spirit and I shall meet, talk and touch Jesus.

I want to thank Jesus for His love for me. You have been always there throughout my troubled times, Your heart ached when I teared. You were there with me during my lonely times and You would touch my hardened heart with Your everlasting love. From the very start, You had the desire to lavish Your love on me.(1 John 3:1). Your thoughts of me are as countless as the sand on the shore.(Psalms 139:17-18). One day, You will wipe away all my tears.(Revelations 21:3-4) and that You ain't counting my sins.(2 Corinthians 5:18-19). Above all things, Your death was the ultimate expression of Your love for me.(1 John 4:10). You endured all the pains, rejections, ridicule and You carried my burdens on that cross. It was I who pinned You there but You didn't mind dying for me so that I could be with You together and always. It was not the nails that held You there but it was Your love for me. How great is Your love. No one can compare to you.

Before my birthday, Jesus told me that I'm gonna have the most special birthday which I ever had in my seventeen years of life. Quite true, I wasn't expecting many people to remember my birthday but it turned out to hit the record. The surprising thing is I don't have many presents on that day but the presents are coming in as belated which means they can come anytime, out of the blue, unexpected. That's the surprise. I like.

Throughout all my life, You have always been there. You are the One who can fulfill all my desires and expectations. I love You. You are my Best Friend and You will always be. Nothing can ever change that fact. Amen.

Dear Father in Heaven, thank You for sending down Your precious Son, Jesus to die for me on the cross. I'm truly grateful. More than anything, I want to desire to know Jesus more and more. May You baptize me with the Holy Spirit so that nothing will go wrong in my life. I commit myself into Your loving hands. Mould me, oh God. Let me be reminded the presence of Jesus everytime. I want to fall deeper and deeper in love with You. In Jesus' sweetest name I pray, Amen.

To my eternal friends: you all know who you are. Really thank God for knowing each and every of you and the happiest thing is that we are going to spend the rest of eternity with each other. thank you all for ur prezzies and prezzies to come. Truly appreciate them. Thank God for these gifts. Pray for each other and encourage each other throughout the hard times k? Draw closer to God.

To my friends who belong to the lost flock: Know my Jesus and you'll see what happens.

There's currently no song stucked in my head.

A Report to My VICTORious King

2004-09-26T21:54:00.000+08:00

This is an account on what happened on 25/9/04

I, Ng Kian Kee, son, prince and servant of God report to Your Majesty. Holy is thy name, the heavens declares.

Niap was once the most hardcore skeptic I have ever met.Seriously. "I want to earn my own merit to go to heaven." and blah blah blah skeptics' viewpoints. But now, Christ has entered his life. I was compelled to write this entry even though in my tag board, I mentioned I was so pressed for time. Heart of steel, I must say of niap's past. Now a heart of passion and faith for the Lord. Continue to thirst for Him man, way to go. Deuteronomy 4:29 -"But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul."

Actually, I've discovered the best comes to those who least expects it. It just happened, too serious too soon. I didn't really catch up with his progress in this path of salvation. God works miracles. Praise to God. Seriously, I wasn't expecting his heart to be moved so soon. I thought it would takes years to move him. God touched his heart, He sent His everlasting love deep deep, down down, deep down in his heart. Oh yes, deep deep, down down, deep down in his heart. I was thinking of all the B.o.m.B members, he was the most extreme and difficult case. Little did I know, God planned Him to be seventh member to accept Christ. 7 down, 3 more to go. Ruilin, wen bin and wei kean. It just feels so much like counting down, and when it is zero, a blessing will "explode" into this group of friends. Niap is changing, one day, he will not be what he was in the past. A great testimony for You, My LORD. Continue to mould him.

It was service. When Ps. Mak prayed for the unsaved people, our eyes were all close. But I was naughty. I peeked. I peeked at niap. Once Ps. Mak finished saying his invitation, niap's hand shot up in a flash. wow, so enthu sia. Ya, he was consolidated and so on and so forth, got his bible, registered his particulars. There is the baby christian fire, burning within him. He took the Word and started reading on the bus, in the past, he wouldn't believe what the Word says is real. I was so touched by God. Oh God, You work mighty wonders. He smsed me a few days ago, "God rocks! I love praying." wow again. God's already answering his prayers. That's the assurances He gives to the non-Christians. Thy will be done in him.

I want to share my experiences. Facing a hardcore skeptic(anyway, hardcore is a relative term for you and me) requires tonnes of patience, gentleness and compassion. At times, I really want to smack him, rejecting me all the time. I don't like rejection anyway. I want to knock some sense into him. His teachability level was low last time, ignoring every word I said. Sometimes I just felt like giving up, it was just like talking to a sack of potato but the difference is that the potato debates with you. Kept on insisting he was right, always. I always wanted to reason and share the good news with him but I just don't have enough knowledge to counter his disbeliefs or perfect my argument. All I can do is just sigh, "how long more, Lord?" Sometimes, I feel like I'm wasting an sms just by inviting him to come church or wasting my saliva or getting unnecessary hurt. But melissa told me before, all that you had said will not be void. When you feel prompted to speak, respond to God's call. Pray for the power to speak, in Jesus' sweetest name. Sometimes, too much preaching spoils the brain. It will irritate people. There must be gentleness. Oh ya, never forget prayer move mountains. Matthew 17:20-21 "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."21 But this kind does not go out except by prayer and fasting." And if that doesn't move that mountain, fast. Have patience. It takes time. "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."Ecclesiastes 3:1. Oh well, Mission accomplished my King. But that's not all, still have to follow up with him. Don't forget to THINK BIG too. P.U.S.H harder.

Dear Father in heaven, I want you to bless the new christians. Bless them with Your presence. I pray that You'll water the faith plant within them and watch over them. I pray that You will bless them with understanding of Your will and they will continue to grow in Your loving hands. Assure them Lord with Your promises and draw them closer and closer to You. I pray in Jesus' most High, Precious, Holy and Sweetest name. Amen.

Song stucked in my head:
Evermore my heart, my heart will sayAbove all, I live for your glory. Even if my world falls I will sayAbove all, I live for your glory. ----Hillsongs(Evermore)

Thought of the day:
One who seeks to understand others will never get understood by others.(Tell me if I'm wrong because 'never' may seem an absolute term)

P.S: I like this song. It's like the intermediate between very rock and the R&B kind. Mild rock, whatever you call it. I hope there's a genre for mild rock.

More More More!

2004-09-19T10:13:00.000+08:00

This is an account of what happened on 18/9/04.

Dear God, Thank You for Your grace and Your ways. It was a day before Loo Loo's birthday. We had dinner with her after service and I had a chance to ask wei kean to come service. Yeah! Actually, I was happy that during service, Wei kean and niap were more involved in the service instead of their usual stoning. I think niap needs a Bible. He needs inspiration now, somehow I feel. May God provide and speak to him. Anyway, Wei Kean was singing his heart out. Perhaps it's the first time I really heard him sing, it was really sincere. Praise to God. God saw his heart and His face shined upon the true worshippers. Niap was like raising his hands and going amen amen in response to the pastor. Wei Kean threw lots of questions at me. Thank God, I was able to answer most of his queries. "Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer every one." - Colossians 4:6. Glad that he was interested in experiencing new stuffs, he even took my bible and ask about things. God is working! =) Dank u,God. Merci. More Lord, More! More of You and MORE people coming church!

I saw a vision. Thank God. He finally gave me a clear instruction on whom to touch, to be in my tribe. When Ps Khong was praying, inviting the Holy Spirit into our souls. I felt like my hands just changed its position to a position of receiving. Then, a sword landed on me. Silver blade, gold and black grip. Near the handle, there were red and blue colours orbiting round it. Then after revolving for a while, the colours entered my body. I understood the vision. Thank God for answering my prayers on directions in life. Halleujah.

Dear Father in heaven, I pray that You will bless me a right attitude to do things for You and in everything that I do, I would do in a Christlike manner. Conform me to be like You. Bless me with compassion, patience, gentleness, humility, peace, strength and love. So that I can touch the ministry You have assigned me to. In Jesus most High, Precious, Holy and Sweetest name.

Song stucked in my head:
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the oceanA vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am I am Yours , I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours
---- Casting Crowns( Who Am I)

P.S: I find the lyrics touching, do you?

Trust God, Once Again...

2004-09-17T22:22:00.000+08:00

This is an account of what happened on 17/9/04.

I was doing the dreaded project work at the school library and I absent-mindedly left my EZ-link card at the library as a identification card to register the use of a computer. I left school without knowing my EZ-link card was still at the library. When I was boarding the the bus 74, I tapped my card as usual, but I heard the "tap" sound. I think it was too much of a coincidence too that my friend tapped his card at the same time and me. I didn't even bother to check the EZ card reader and it just didn't occur to me that I was without my ez-link card.

I alighted at my bus stop at sunset way to transfer to 184 or 75. When I alighted, I saw 184 right in front of me, I didn't bother to rush for the bus as it was leaving. I guessed I'll be taking 75 home. 75 came soon and I boarded bus. I tapped my wallet at the EZ- card scanner. Once, twice, thrice but to no avail. There just wasn't the "acknowledgement" tap sound. Then, it just occurred to me that I forgot to take my EZ-link card again. Sigh... and I was super broke. After all the money spent on class fund, prezzies and expenses all I had was a miserable twenty cents. Not even sufficient for a bus ticket. I felt disappointed that I could be so forgetful. I closed my eyes and prayed," OH God!!! Make a way for me!"

Following, I left my shocked, disappointed, embarrassed state and approached the driver. At that time, the lights were red and the bus was still kept at the bus bay.

I told the uncle in mandarin, "Uncle, I forgot to bring my card. Can you... (open the door for me?)"

Before I could finish my sentence, he interrupted me,
"It's ok. Sometimes people just are misfortunate. You get seated down."

"Thank you uncle, but I only have twenty cents with me."

"It's ok. You pay the twenty cents and I'll issue you a ticket. Otherwise, a bus inspector may scold you if you didnt have a ticket if he happens to come along this bus."

"Thank you, uncle. Thank you."

Imagine. If that bus driver didn't allow me to board the bus, I would be seriously seriously stranded on that bus stop. What I could do with 20 cents? And my nearest help would probably be my father who was at home, 30 mins away from my stop. I had no instant relief. I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really want to thank God. I am filled with gratitude. Thank You Lord , for delivering me. Really, with my sincerest thanksgiving to Your name. Praise God for He is good, His love endures forever. Such a kind soul, that bus driver, filled with understanding. I always thought bus drivers were grumpy as they repeated their journey everyday, it would be highly likely they got bored and fed up. Too good to be true. It's a miracle. I can imagine myself at that bus stop cursing myself for being so forgetful and being bitter over such an issue. God is a God of miracles. Hallelujah. You rock my world. Just trust God and have faith that He will deliver. Arigato God for answering my prayers.

Dear Father in heaven, let everything that has breath praise You. You are wonderful, magnificent, glorious, kind, lovely and You work in mysterious ways I cannot see. I thank You for delivering me. Thank You for jenni, she made my day today. Thank God that I have sufficient money to fill my stomach. Thank God for everything. Bless me with Your eternal joy. In Jesus' most Holy, high, precious and sweetest name I pray. Amen.

Thought of the day : A true friend knows your worst yet still loves you.

Song stucked in my head:
I've finally found a reason for living. It's in giving every part of my heart to Him. In all that I do, every word that I that say, I would be giving my all just for Him.
We are the reason He gave His life, we are the reason that He suffered and died. To a world that was lost, He gave all He could give to show us the reason to live.
----Avalon (We are the reason)

THINK BIG

2004-09-13T21:31:00.000+08:00

W.W.J.D = what would Jesus do?
P.U.S.H = pray until something happen.

I had an inspiration last month just that I didn't publish it. So here's my inspiration:

Trust
His
Instructions
N(&)
Keep
Believing
In
God

Amen.To the Christians out there! T.H.I.N.K.B.I.G. Praise to God. Praise looks good on You :)

Anyway, I just wanna thank God for what happened today. I looked green today, my form teacher said. Quite true, I felt like there were dumbbells on my eyelids, so heavy and tired. I was a little drowsy, got a little headache, felt weak. I was laying my head on the desk throughout the whole morning. Thank God that I had prayers to sustain me through. Felt better after people prayed for me, if not I was like quite sick and all that, sigh.. without energy it's difficult for me to love the people around me. I was more focused on my own needs, like, 'don't bother me, I'm tired' .I wonder if God ever felt weak before. Even if He did, He would just kneel down and pray for strength for He knows His strength comes from the Father.
Thank God that I didn't choke or swallow the fish bone while I was eating. Guardian angel was there moving the bones to my teeth so that I could feel it. haha. Thank God that I didn't fall off a chair during class because I was rocking it. thank you angel too. Thank God that I can walk properly because I saw this lame today, I sympathized her. Thank God for the strength and healing that lasted me through school. Thank God for the joyous conversation I had with my classmates during lunch. Arigato God.

Dear Father in Heaven, once again I looked upon the cross where You died. I'm humbled by Your mercy. Thank You for the cross and the torture Your Son went through during the darkest hour on earth. Clothe me with compassion, gentleness, humility, patience and love that binds all these together. I don't wanna waste another day without doing anything for You. Bless me, restore my strength. In Jesus' most Holy, Highest, Precious and sweetest name. I claim Your healing, strength and joy. Thank You God for hearing my prayers and interceding for me. AMEN.

Thought of the day: In life, don't complain. Look at the roses instead of the thorns in your life and give thanks to God in heaven.

Once again I looked upon the cross where You died...

The Best Expression Of Love Is Time

2004-09-12T11:53:00.000+08:00

This is an account of what happened on 11/9/04.

-11/9/04-

Life is indeed all about love. That's what my blog is about aye?
"Because God is love, the most important lesson he wants you to learn on earth is how to love. It is in loving that we are most like him, so love is the foundation of every command He has given us: Love others as you love yourself." -- Purpose driven life

That was my quiet time for the day before 11/9/04. Guess what? right after that, I had a instant test on what I have just learned. God is good. He makes me learn. Amen.

My mobile phone vibrated in my dark room, disturbing the tranquility I was indulging in. I was about to enter dreamland with God when God gave me a application test. It was a message from my friend. He was really desperate for help. He just missed an important call from the best friend of his crush and he had other problems too, which I will not state for the privacy of my friend.(if you know who I'm referring to, that's good.) Altogether, these accumulation of stress results in a wearing down one's physical self. He broke down, I guess. He was a total loss of what to do, all these problems like floodwaters, came pouring into his world suddenly took him by storm. He did all he could to help himself or the people he's supposed to. He was desperate, really.

I was quite unwilling at first to be stirred by such a message but I knew God's calling me. Mel said, for a proud person like him to turn to me, it may be a breakthrough. Quite True, Praise God. I was called for emergency support, I guess that's what giving your all for Christ is all about. I live for Him and is willing to do anything for Him. I conversed with my friend from 12am to 115am and if anyone understands me, you know that I don't like to stay up late. It makes me look real bad the next day, with swollen eyes and all. However, God honours what you do for Him, even though He wakes up in the middle of the night to do His will, He will bless you with sufficient strength to do His work and if you do it, He will reward you eternally. Thank You God for bless me with Your ever-sufficient grace that I may be able to be there for my friend when he's in need. I thank You that I have displayed Your love to him. That was the application test. To love. two words, so simple yet so hard to do without God's grace. It was because He first loved us that we love now. Loving is difficult, sometimes you have to cast aside your emotions to demostrate Christ's love to people and in certain circumstances, people do not understand you. You may be at the very verge of collapsing, but they do not know. However, let not Man know what you are doing. Your Father in Heaven will see what you do and will honour you.God's grace is sufficient, He will do ask you to do things beyond the grace He has given to you.

I get very grumpy when people wake me up in the middle of the night, I did felt very frustrated and at first, I did not seek to understand what my friend was feeling. Holy spirit spoke to me that I must be gentle, doing everything with love. It was quite difficult but prayers helped. Jesus was interceding for me, you see. Spiritual warfare was also going on during that time, God gave cover for me! =) My friend even asked me to stay away from him because he felt the devil manifesting in him and he's afraid that the devil may seek me as his next target.The devil?who is that?the teeny weeny one?small little guy cannot harm me, for the devil has no power over those who believe in Jesus. Jesus is POWER. STAY CONNECTED.

At that time, I was very desperate too because I couldn't help. I surrendered myself to God and let Him work. I did not know what to pray for too, there was like infinite things to pray for but God knows all, He will intercede on my behalf for Romans 8:26-27 says, "26In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will." Yeah, Jesus prayed for me but there were certain things I did not understand. My friend was a non-believer and I told him to pray because since he was so desperate, he doesn't mind trying anything. He prayed for a miracle. God didn't display His prowess. I guess the answer lies here: If one has not prayed the sinners' prayer. God will not answer their prayer. I gave him the sinners' prayer in short, that's why no miracle I guessed. God works in mysterious ways that we humans do not understand. He had a better purpose for not working miracles that time I believe. So friend, if you happen to be reading my blog. You can choose to believe there's no God since He didn't answer your prayer or work miracles before you. Did you know millions of people out there are waiting for a miracle to happen in their lives before they come and acknowlege God? Even if miracles happen, it is not 100% sure that they will bow down and confess He is Yahweh. That's what happen to the people in Israel, God delivered them once and once again but they still doubted and complained about Him. That's the reason why I suppose God didn't perform miracles. "He answered, "A wicked and adulterous generation asks for a miraculous sign! But none will be given it except the sign of the prophet Jonah"" - Matthew 12:39. Certain things are not in God's will and that's why He will not answer those selfish prayers.

I rushed during touchkidz to another emergency support call from God, for the same friend.So much so for the last goodbye.Thank God for the people there which managed to persuade him and reveal where his blindspot him. I hope they had knocked some sense into him. Just to let you know, we love You, we'll always be there for you.

I just thank God for the love, compassion, strength, protection, gentleness and all that my eyes cannot see. Thank You for interceding on my behalf. I honour You. I'm willing, Lord to serve you with my life. This application test started because since 10/9/04, I have decided to pray this daily, "Dear God, more than anything, I want to get to know You more intimately. I want to spend time loving You and Your people because that's what's life is all about. I don't want to waste this day."--Purpose driven life. Bless me with Your love that I may be able to demostrate Your love to the people around me. I know I have forgotten to show special love to some of the believers, forgive me. I pray I would be reminded not to leave anyone behind. Thank You, Lord. Thy will be done. In Jesus' most High, Holy, Precious and sweetest name. Amen.

Thoughts of the day -->
1: " The more time you give to something, the more you reveal its importance and value to you. If you want to know a person's priorities, just look at how they use their time."

2: " The essence of love is not what we think or do or provides each others, but how much we give of ourselves."

Jesus, I believe in You. I will go to the ends of the earth, to the ends of the earth for You alone are the Son of God, all the world will see. You are God, YOU ARE GOD. -To the ends of the earth (hillsongs)

Let the trials commence!

2004-09-05T14:51:00.000+08:00

It's the end of olympics, oh well, we have a new set of events. TRIALS!!! applause please.
This is an account that happened on 4/9/04.

-4/9/04-
I felt very happy yesterday. I didn't know why but on my way home, I started praying for the trees and the grass. 'Let everything that has breath praise the Lord!" It was the 7th lunar month, I was thinking will the trees that God created be possessed by the wandering evil spirits and let them treat them like temporary lodging places? I prayed that the trees will continue to sing praises to God and that they will continue to fulfil the purpose that God has given them.I hope there won't be any ricochet once I've sent this blessing out.
Lesson: If you really want to particpate in spiritual warfare, pray for your own protection first.

After worshipping along the way, I stepped out of my own lift and to the very door of my very own house. At that time, I was still indulging in my joy and worship that I didn't feel anything ominous. As I slowly unlock the door, I felt weird because I couldn't unlock the gate in front of my door. I tried and tried, then I knocked and rang the bell. When the door sprang open, I saw enraged Dad unlocking a padlock that was just attached to gate. He locked me out! The next thing I experienced was anger in my Dad's wake as he went to the store room and thrash the padlock in a drawer. He made lots of noise, displaying his exasperation. The last thing he said before he stormed back to the master bedroom was, "One day, I'll cancel your telephone line."

I definitely saw Medusa. All the joy that was within me just vaporised, escaping the very grasp of my desperate fingers. What came to fill my soul was anger, loss and depression. The Holy Spirit was within me and it has promised the gentleness, patience and peace within my soul, it had prevented me from acting out any irrational executions.

Quiet time was about 'The Heart of Worship', basically it was about surrendering to God, submitting to Him each day, trusting in His will more and more. It really applied to me. All I need now is more faith, trust and hope in my Lord Jesus Christ.Lord, I shall not pray, "comfort me, relieve me from this hour of torment and trial." But I will pray, "Conform me to be more like You. I shall place my hope and trust in You and await patiently the day of Your Glory. Thy will be done, not mine." (Reference to the prayer Jesus made in the garden of olives, before He died, when He felt so much fear before the awaited hour.)Thank You Lord Jesus, Thank You for this trial for I know You have plans for my good future and I have long awaited this trial. Thank You for this trial, Your blessing in disguise. Water the faith plant in me.

Pslams 130:5
I wait for the LORD , my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.

-5/9/04-
I woke up this morning with mist in my head. God didn't give me a dream to interpret or recall.

"Wake up, it's ten. You have already slept for 9 hours! Don't be lazy!" My mom said.

Nagging started my day. Good morning God.What a day,I gave grace to God for vermicelli my mom bought. Thank God for the physical strength to last me throughout the day. After eating, I did prophetic stuffs. I helped my mom do her weekly chores by mopping the floor. This is all about serving God. However, one thing that I didn't please God was, I didn't speak to my mom at all.By the way, my dad went out for work early morning.I just nodded or shoke my head in response to her queries. I helped mom carry the oven and the egg mixer to the kitchen as she wanted to do her weekly 'dim sum' rountine. Did it without complaint. After that, I cooped myself in the room. I wanted to start "When Skeptics asks" but the book was very difficult to comprehend. I proceeded to playing 'the guitar'(boyfriend's) but after a while, my soul was filled with depression. I laid down on the bed and wept. High time since I last wept. God saw me. His heart was aching, but I understand it was for the best. I won't write about my problems in this blog unless it testifies Jesus' love for me. I cried over certain issues which I would not state unless it becomes a testimony. Anyway, I just felt my world crashing down again like I was left to stand alone in this world and darkness is knocking on my door. Nothing shall daunt me for there is still light in my soul. A gleamer of HOPE that still kindles within me, keeps from being strayed for I know and have tasted life without God. Filled with guilt and fear, barriers that stop you from receiving His love. I felt really really EMPTY. Now that I have this trial before me, I can't back out now and return to my old habitual ways. I want to perservere in this path of light, soaring with God on eagles' wings.Anyway, I prayed for patience, peace for my Dad last night and I guess God did His work(He always do.) After my Dad returned from work, He bought my favourite "zhu zhu bing",the biscuit made from leftover mooncake crust.

My mom commented, "Look at your loving father, look! He bought these for you. Shouldn't you be touched?"

I am touched. I know Daddy loves me. I know, I know, I know. His anger was appeased. YEAH!So much for the love God shows. God gave us parents to love us even though He knew from the very start the stark fact that it would be our parents who would be a barrier between God and us. Keep in mind, God's love overcome all things. ALL. ya, ALL. ALL! ALL! ALL!

-Issac-
For God, I've also decided to give up on computer games. No point indulging them, it's like flirting with tempations of the world and the devil smirks when I game. When I start to become idle, all the other temptations follow. After the forty day fast, I felt good. Holy and righteous like the devils in me rid of. After since I started to play again, I was back to square one. I don't want! I want God only.I pray that Lord I will continue to trust You and thank You in all circumstances in life, in all things I would give You praise. You deserve the most Lord, the most. Nothing that I ever do is ever enough to redeem for what You have done for me. I love you and I will trust You. Bless me with faith to endure through this time of trial and I will soar with You again. I want to be like Mount Zion and not be moved. My hope is in You, is in You.I will be still and know You are God.
In Jesus' Most High, Holy, Precious and Sweetest name I pray. And all God's children say,
AMEN.

Thought of the day: If you have high expectations from men that only God can meet, you are in for disappointment.

Hebrew 11:1 -"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see"

I'm a flower quickly fading, without Your love sustaining...

The Best comes to those who least expects it.

2004-08-29T12:29:00.000+08:00

This is an account of what happened on 28/8/04.
It was service again! Guess what this time, Say Lin came! Ah zhong also brought along two of his classmates along. Thank God. I was least expecting say lin would come. I had invited him on many occasions only to hear disappointing rejections from him. I was about to lose my patience yesterday when he said he would try to come to church. Sigh, a lot more endurance, compassion and patience to have just to serve God.
Yesterday's sermon was about having a grateful heart. Pastor Khong says that being an ingrate is the biggest sin one could ever commit. I believe too. Father in heaven, I just wanna thank You so much for hearing my prayers. I know You have moved Your mighty hand on those who I have prayed for. Father God, I just pray that You would continue to work Your Good work within them, for I am powerless to change their hardened hearts. Lord, You love them so much that You gave them free will and yet You did not force them to love You but You want them to love You willingly. How depressing it is to love someone who does not love You back. I understood this statement. I commit them into Your loving Hands. Bless them with Your Love. Thank You Lord, for giving me Your peace and wisdom during the GP test. I did the best out of my other tests.YEAh~!!I wanna say a million thank Yous to You and Thank You is a word that never loses its effect. In Jesus' most High, Precious, Holy and sweetest name. Thank You for everything and the best is yet to come.Amen.

Every word of every story, Every star in every sky,Every corner of creation lives to testify.
For as long as I shall live I will testify to love.I'll be a witness in the silences when words are not enough.With every breath I take, I will give thanks to God above.For as long as I shall live I will testify to love --- Testify to love (Avalon)

Thought of the day:
Never seek man to satisfy the emptiness within your soul, rather seek God above all things. God will make sure He won't disappoint you and He will fill the emptiness within you.
For man are unfaithful but God isn't. For man are not always there but God is. Your love is steadfast, God. Your love is steadfast.

To do it or not?

2004-08-26T21:14:00.000+08:00

I was on my way back after passing a "life transformer book", The Purpose Driven Life to jenni, I alighted from my bus 180 only to see my bus 960 right in front of me. I prayed, " Dear God, let me catch that bus. I want to go home quickly." It was a quick prayer, didn't have time to pray in Jesus' name. I ran towards 960 and knocked on the door of bus. The driver looks reluctant when he opened the door for me. Thank God that I managed to catch the bus.

On the bus, I saw this purple translucent plastic bag right in front of me. I felt that it was weird, it was kinda out of place. Just on one of the passenger seats. Then, I asked God, "Holy Spirit, Should I help to throw away this thrash?" I was curious and peered into it. I saw rubbish inside, a empty plastic bag which used to contain drinks. However, it triggered me to think even more, what if I throw away this bag and the bus driver mistook me for littering and eating on the bus which I didn't? Oh God, I don't want to be mistaken. I sat there and pondered over it. But I could feel the Holy Spirit speaking to me, gently and softly though I couldn't hear it clearly but it was urging me to dispose of that bag. In the end, drumroll please... I took the bag before I alighted and disposed of it and guess what? The driver smiled back at me!!! I didn't get mistaken. Yeah! I was gleaming after that because it just felt liked God smiled at me. It was pure bliss, like I did a little thing for God which He delights in. Do little things with great love God said. Praise God that I managed to put a smile on that driver and be able to glorify Him too.
Oh ya, when I was at jurong point, I saw this blind guy(i think) basking, playing his guitar and singing. His plucking of his guitar is good, I must admit. When I passed by him for the second time, after buying bread from BreadTalk, I had compassion for him and I donated whatever coins I had for him. I even donated 5cents. Haha. Thank You, Jesus. Jesus, I just wanna pray for my cell members. Give them Your Peace that surpasses all understanding and guard their minds against the devil's ploys. I pray that they will have the desire to know You more and more and more and more and they will delight in serving You. Oh God, conform them to be more Christlike. Father, I pray that You will guard their falls. Thank You, fill them with Your compassion and love. In Jesus' most precious, holy, sweetest name I pray. And all God's children say? Amen!

God's Power TEST

2004-08-23T21:08:00.000+08:00

-God's Power Test-
I had my GP(General Paper) Test today. Although I finished reading the whole of the GP package, I was still very unclear of the bits of information everywhere. The materials I was reading wasn't abosrbed 50% into my short-term memory and in the end, I went to the test with a unprepared heart.

Before the test, Jimmy called me along together with Aayush to pray on behalf of the class 1SC6. I guess after the prayer I felt better because of the assurance that God will bless the other people who are going to take the test. I prayed before the test too but I was afraid, scared that I wouldn't do well like the previous tests. When the test paper was delivered right before my very eyes, I stoned. Question 1, something regarding electorial candidates selecting their style of dressing according to market research. 'Electorial candidate, style of dressing, I had read this somewhere before but I didn't know where the answer was. After spending a futile 2 minutes searching for the answer to the question, I gave up and proceeded to the next question.Once again, I met Medusa. Oh my, the answer lay in the article which I didn't bother to read carefully.
I should have focused more on that article! Argh... whatever, daunted, I skipped the question 2 and along came question 3 which I skipped as well. I told God, "God, so my test results are going to be like the borderline cases again?" I sighed and prayed, "Lord, Bless me with Your Wisdom and open my eyes to reveal the answers to me." (I must pray and believe)
Wow,actually the first few questions were my blindspot questions which I did not focus on. The following questions were easy. I found the answers just lying right under my nose(quite true, the GP package was before me.) Haha and happily, I attempted all the following questions with ease and the miraculous thing is I began to know which article to find the answer and the answer came swiftly. I had never felt better after the test! It was the first time I had completed 95% of the questions. Praise to God. Hallelujah~!

Lord, You are the Living Water. I want You to cleanse my mind with Your Living Water. Let my thoughts be filled with grace and Your Perfect Love. Thank You Lord. I want to pray that You would thwart any demonic attempts to stop Your Word from being delivered to Cheryl and open her eyes and let her see Your Glory. Fill her with Your Purest Love, satisfy the emptiness in her soul. I commit her into Your hands. In Jesus, Most High, Precious, Holy and Sweetest name. Amen. Thank You, Jesus for hearing my prayers.

No one else can satisfy my soul,
make me feel this way,
only You Lord, only You...(How could I live without You)

Chapter 4: Reminiscent, No more.

2004-08-22T11:43:00.000+08:00

For those of you who are reading, you may find it weird why do I start my story with Chapter 4. I will add in the previous chapters some other time or may be not all all. Anyway, this is supposed to be an account of what happened on 21/8/04.

-EXtremist saved-
It was the usual service day. However, there was something special I have to do today, something significant, something that is going to make an impact in the rest of my life. I'll leave the best for the last for now. Two weeks ago before the spookshow, DC and WH promised to go church yesterday. I suppose DC wanted to meet his chem lecturer in my church and WH probably just wanted to accompany DC and it was Niap's birthday on 20/8/04. So, we wanted to bring him out for a surprise and WH made him promise to attend service. Praise the Lord that He arranged a way for him to come. Although, I know there's not much change that is going to change niap yet, but I believe my Lord has done His marvellous work within him and by exposing him to service, God is changing His hardened heart bit by bit. I was so delighted yesterday that my brothers came for service and it was the FIRST time during service that I offered 10 dollars. I just felt that God deserved this amount of offering.
I didn't know DC's parents are christians and I didn't even know He had christian portraits at home and even a Bible. He was so zealous during service, maybe that was his usual self. Ever so extreme in everything that he do, that's why we called him 'The EXtremist'. He can take part in eXtreme sports for sure. He responded to the altar call for baby christians. Of all the people there, he was the 2nd least likely. Niap was first. I thought he was joking considering his extreme actions but he was serious and held none of his particulars back during consolidation session.I thanked God that he made this decision. Thank You, Lord for saving him and blessing him with the courage to respond to the stirring in his spirit. I was contented that WH was so attentive during service, he described to me how the sermon could be applied to his life. Although there are things holding him back from devoting his entire life to You, God almighty, I pray and believe one day, one day, one fine day, one fine day, he will take up this righteous path. Same applies to Niap too. Lord, I commit these people to Your Hands. Let Your perfect love fill their hearts and sastify the emptiness in their soul. Bless them with the Holy Spirit and guide them each and every step nearer and nearer to their salvation and greater glory. Lord, do Your good work in them and bless them with the wisdom to understand Your Word and open their eyes and let them see the wonderful Glory of God that is all around them. In Jesus' most High, Holy and Sweetest name I pray.

-Frozen wound-
Lord, I had sacrificed whatever that is going to be a burden to our relationship. I want to surrender my life to You because I know You care so much for me. I'm willing to do anything, anything for You.
I threw away whatever ex-lovers stuff I had in my drawer, not completely cleared though because I couldn't bring so much with me. I'm a psycho, boyfriend(I'm not homo) said as I wanted to dispose all these useless stuff in the church dustbin. Of all the places, the church dustbin.*laugh* Lord, I give You my heart. Guard it well, let me not fall for the devil's trap again. I had disposed of these things. Let Your healing work begin in me. Pour out Your Healing Grace onto me. Let it be a frozen wound no more, but a wound completely healed and without blemish. But Lord, let me remember this experience so that I could share my pain and feelings to other people and let them learn and grow through those difficult times. Lord, I know You love me so much that You hung there and died for me. I don't want anything to hinder our intimate relationship. I just want to worship You alone and not have any other 'gods'(Ps. Tan Hee Guan's sermon). Lord, use Your servant wisely. I commit myself into Your loving hands, conform me to be like Jesus Christ. Fill me with Your compassion, mercy, love, patience, peace, gentleness and wisdom. Let me understand the people around me and bless me with the Holy Spirit to guide me in order to help them. Let me glorify You. In Jesus' most high, precious, holy and sweetest name.
And all God's children say? AMEN!!!

For Your Love is higher than the heavens,
deeper than the sea,
all I want is You in my Life.(How could I live without You)

Love Letter From A Loving God.

2004-08-21T09:50:00.000+08:00

But Jesus came to open my ears to another voice that says, ‘I am your God, I have moulded you with My own hands, and I love what I have made. I love you with a love that has no limits, because I love you as I am loved. Do not run away from Me. Come back to Me---not once, not twice, but always again. You are My child. How can you ever doubt that I will embrace you again, hold you against My breast, kiss you and let My hands run through your hair? I am your God---the God of mercy and compassion, the God of pardon and love, the God of tenderness and care. Please do not say that I have given up on you, that I cannot stand you anymore, that there is no way back. It is not true. I so much want you to be with Me. I so much want you to be close to Me. I know all your thoughts. I hear all your words. I see all of your actions. And I love you because you are beautiful, made in My own image, an expression of My most intimate love. Do not judge yourself. Do not condemn yourself. Do not reject yourself. Let My love touch the deepest, most hidden corners of your heart and reveal to you your own beauty, a beauty that you have lost sight of, but which will become visible to you again in the light of My mercy. Come, come, let Me wipe your tears, and let My mouth come close to your ear and say to you, ‘I love you, I love you, I love you.'