A Final Say

As I write this entry, Oh Lord bless me with Your Holy Spirit's guidance. Lead me, Lord in Your ways of righteousness. In Jesus' most Precious name. Amen. This is going to be a long blog, please be patient. Thank you.

Update:
"80bucks," the phone bill read. Fuming anger was building up in my dad. Angst filled my brother's mind. But, they remained silent. A sense of guilt should be in my soul. No, I didn't feel that. I was feeling neutral, nothing. Perhaps I was playing computer that's why, it always takes me out of reality.

My brother, the computer freak was actually mad at me for spending so much money on the phone. Well, he's not wrong. However, I've been the one who has been patient with him. He's been stuck at the computer for ages. Whenever I'm in the house, I would see him pasted to the computer. Super Glued. Stucked. Whatever. Just angry that his whole life is revolving about the computer. Sigh...and now, he's the one mad at me. How ironic!

People say time flies. Well, I say money flies. Because time is equals to money. Ok, that's lame.(haven't been like that for quite some time.) Money flies like the dragonfly. Once it's gone, it's hard to catch it. It has many eyes to escape your grasp. As I was preparing for the sarawak trip, money just kept on disappearing without my check. Pay this, pay that. Look at the wallet again, EMPTY. Ask from my mother again for new income. Reality seeps in. Money is one of the blessings of God and if I learn to treasure money and use it wisely for God's glory instead of spending it on worldy things that will soon pass away. I began to felt the guilt as I see money vanishing before me very eyes. I felt the ache. The ache that causes splits open your heart when you spent your precious earned money. Ouch. Ouch. I've realised I really spent a lot of money already. sigh and I'm going to spend more during the trip.

What God has made me learn is that as one grows in faith, the one thing people will learn how to handle is money. Money is earthly treasure given by God's grace. There's a parable about the talent which God said in Matthew 25:14-30. Talent is money. Although it does not say about spending away the talents but my point is that I don't use God's blessing of money by multiplying it. I spend it recklessly without thinking. When I started thinking, it's too late. Please forgive me Lord, for my reckless spending. Bless me guidance from the Holy Spirit on issues of money. Thank You Lord for I trust in Your Holy counsel.

Mission Trip: Sarawak.
I've been called to proceed towards sarawak to aid a rural community there. Well, it's God's calling(hmm some of you may not understand this). Although He didn't speak to me vocally but He guides me without me knowing. I'm following His path. Through this trip, I hope to learn things to develop my character. Firstly, there will be a language barrier between my team and the natives there for they speak malay and their native language. I hope to learn how to develop good communication skills with my team and the people there. I want to practise serving people with sincerity. I believe God is leading me on this path of serving and He wants me to gain more experience in this area. With God's strength, I hope to develop patience and the attitude of servanthood. Through this, I hope to be more considerate and seeing to fulfil the needs of others as a true servant does, I hope to establish sincere fellowship with people, I hope to be more independent. I will learn to take care of myself and be responsible for my actions. I also would like to be blessed with understanding from the Holy Spirit to be sensitive enough to the feelings of the people I'll interact with. God's grace be with me always. Amen.

My mother asked me to bring my Bible along to the trip. Wow. That's something I'm pleased to hear. I didn't expect her to say that although she is discreetly against my relationship with God.
Well, things are turning up good. God is working in the hearts of my family. Salvation is to come. Amen.

Prayers:
Dear Father in Heaven, hallowed be Thy Name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done. Deliver us from the arms of evil and forgive us for our transgressions.

Cell members:
My dearest brothers and sister in Christ(Wow, I feel like Paul writing a letter.), I pray the Lord will keep you in His protective care and He will continue to light the fire of passion in you all. Let this flame burn strongly within their souls for You, Oh Sovereign Lord. I pray that the Holy Spirit will be your guidance in every step you take in your lives. May you surrender your hearts to God and let him take control of Your life. Things will never go wrong with Him in control. I pray Lord that You will take deeper into authentic fellowship with one another and continue to use them to strengthen each other's faith, to comfort, to encourage, to forgive and to love. I entrust them into Your care, lead them in your ways of righteousness and let the whole world know that they are Your disciples. May they reflect Your Glory more.

Fellow Church members:
My dear brothers and sisters, I pray that God will continue to speak into Your lives and reveal your strengths and weaknesses that you may submit to God these, and let Him use it for His glory. I pray God that they will continue to be humble, available and obedient towards You. Remove all spiritual earwax that is preventing them from hearing Your voice. Revive the hearts of who are spiritually dead. Bless the passionate with consistent spiritual fervor. I pray that God will continue to bless You will His love and may you all share His love to the people around your lives. Oh Lord, bless them with Your strength and renewed mind to do Your daily work You have assigned them to do and may they do it will a grateful heart and with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Team ACJC:
Dear God, to this dedicated team of servants who are going towards a survival training trip in Sarawak to help those people in need, I pray that You will bless us with renewed strength everyday. Bless us with the determination, perseverance and tenacity to strive on towards our goals and may You bless us with a gentle and sincere heart when we approach the natives there. I pray that Your angels will protect us from any injuries. May our time there be fruitful and may it bring glory to Your Name. I pray for understanding and cohesion in this team, I pray that by Your peace that You have blessed us with, we will resolve conflicts with peace and through this trip, we will continue to grow strong in our faith. Bless our path Oh God with Your safety and assurances. May we place our trust in You always and deliver us in times of need.

The Lost Sheep:
Dear Lord Jesus, I pray that You will continue to work in their souls. Let Your love penetrate deep into their hardened hearts. I pray that You will use circumstances to draw them towards their path of salvation. I pray that they will have more opportunities to witness, the courage to speak up, a rapid spread of the Good News and more servants rising up to redeem these lost sheep. Bless them with Your wisdom, God and let them be filled with Your knowledge and not the wisdom of this world. Guide them gently with Your hands. Into Your secure hands, I commit them.

ACJC classmates of light:
I pray that God's fire will continue to burn in you and you will ever be in spiritual fervor, seeking eagerly to honour and seek God. I pray that God will continue to water the faith plant in you all. Let His great love binds all of us together deeper in fellowship and may we be able to help each other in our spiritual lives. May we lead godly lives so that people may praise the Father in heaven for the light they see in us. Bless us with Your peace always when we do Your work. Continue to sow seeds in our hearts and may we yield good fruit. Thank You God for watching over my classmates.

A story by me:
Our lives is like a driving a car. From young, we slowly learn how to drive this car and we are very slow learners. We are striving to be perfect in our driving skills everyday from the experience we are picking up. In this road called life, we drive this car. We drive as we like, there are many routes that we can turn to. Some routes are good, some routes are bad. Although there are road signs that warns us, we can choose to risk our safety for the benefits of that route(s). These rewards may not do good to your car and in fact may cause long term damage to your cars. There are roads that are deceiving and they lead us into danger. But one thing we know, we never what is at the end of the road. That's why we need an experienced driver in our life.Well, the happy thing is, I know this driver. May I introduce Him to you all. His name is Jesus! He knows all the routes. His streetwise nature transcends all things. He knows which routes are good and bad. The even happier news is, He is willing to drive your car for you for the rest of your lives that is if you give him control in your steering wheel. Ain't it great that we have such an experienced and streetwise driver? You need no longer need to worry about where to head in your life and in His hands, He will drive us safely unto the path road of light always. He loves us so much that He's always willing to drive our car if we seek Him. He doesn't wants us to be in danger because of His love for us but He can only enter your lives with your acknowledgement.
If you feel that you are always at a loss of where to head in your life, don't worry. For now, there's a solution. That's God. One condition is that You accept Him as Lord of your life.

My dear friends, I bid farewell to you. Take care of my sheep. I hope to see the good work God has done in your lives when I return. I'll be back on 4th december with more testimonies. Be excited in your anticipation. No worries about me because I have Jesus in me. Don't worry about my spiritual growth for it's a Christian community there. I'll be attending service there!Finally, God's Grace to be with you always. In Jesus' most Precious and Sweetest name, I pray. Amen.

The Dream: The Room

P.S: This is an extract taken from "I kissed dating goodbye" By Joshua Harris.
A must read recommedation from me.


In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for one wall covered with small index-card files. They were like the ones in the libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.

And then without being told, I knew exaclty where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match.

A sense of wonder can curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their contents. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I have betrayed."

The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I have read," "Lies I have told," "Comfort I have given", "Jokes I have laughed at." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've yelled at my brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I have done in anger," "Things I have muttered under my breath at my parents." I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes there were fewer than I hoped.

I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my twenty years to write each of these thousands, possibly millions, of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I have listened to," I realised the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I kenw that file represented.

When I came to a file "Lustful thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed contents. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.

Suddenly I felt an almost animal rage. One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" in an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took the file at one end and began pounding it on the floor , I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.

Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore "People I have shared the Gospel with." The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that the hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.

But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh anyone but Jesus.

I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?

Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.

"No!" I shouted, rushing towards Him. All I could find to say was, "No, no, " as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.

He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and continued to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished."

I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.


To be written... to be continued... to remember the Blood that cleansed our sins...to engrave in our minds and our hearts and our souls the amazing love that was demostrated... to live with conviction... to do things all for the Glory of God. In Jesus' most Precious and Sweetest Name. Amen.

There's currently no song stuck in my head.

Thought of the day: Marriage is more than what you think it is.

Sometime

Sometime, when all life's lessons have been learned,
And sun and stars forevermore have set,
The things which our weak judgements here have spurned,
The things o'er which we grieved with lashes wet,
Will flash before us out of life's dark night,
As stars shine most in deeper tints of blue;
And we shall see how God's plans are right
And how what seemed reproof was love most true.
Then be content poor heart;
God's plans, like lilies pure and white, unfold;
we must not tear the close-shut leaves apart, ---
Time will reveal the chalices of gold.
And if, through patient toil, we reach the land
Where tired feet, with sandals lossed, may rest,
When we shall clearly see and understand,
I think that we will say, "God knew the best!"

----Sometime, by May Riley Smith.

Dear God, Your wisdon and understanding surpasses all things below the heavens. I'm placing my life's calendar at Your feet and allowing You to handle the scheduling of my relationships. I will have patience and cherish Your gift of singleness as a gift to devote myself to pleasing You. I'll live my todays for Your kingdom and entrust my tomorrows to Your providence. I trust in Your good and loving will. Bless me with a passion to seek and please You. Thank You, Lord. Because I pray this in Jesus' most Precious ans Sweetest Name. Amen.

P.S: I'm currently reading "I kissed dating goodbye by Joshua Harris."

Christian Alphabet Poem

Although things are not perfect
Because of trial and pain
Continue in thanksgiving
Do not begin to blame
Even when times are hard
Fierce winds are bound to blow
God is forever able
Hold on to what you know
Imagine life without His love
Joy would cease to be
Keep thanking Him for all the things
Love imparts to thee
Move out of "Camp Complaining"
No weapon that is known
On earth can yield the power
Praise can do alone
Quit looking at the future
Redeem the time at hand
Start everyday with worship
To "thank" is a command
Until we see Him coming
Victorious in the sky
We'll run the race with gratitude
Xalting God most high
Yes, there will be good times and yes some will be bad, but
Zion waits in glory... where none are ever sad!

Well, just wanna thank God for this poem princess Loo Loo and boyfriend gave to me for my birthday. Thank you 2, love ya lots. I find it very creative. Well, you 2 got the right gift. I like it.
Thank God that I'm able to work out today, my fats are accumulating at the wrong place. It's part of my genes, anyway I just to have to accept I'm different. God made me this way, so thank You, there's bound to be a good reason behind this. :)

Dear Father in Heaven, I look to the throne where You, the glorious King sits. I await Your day of coming, patiently I abide and hope in Your laws. Guide me in Your ways of righteousness and lift me when I fall. You are more than anything else the world can give. You are the one called Saviour, where all who believe shall live. Though I live as a child of Yours, I must admit my iniquities and helplessness for You alone are my strength and help in times of need. You are my tower of refuge where I seek shelter from mundane affairs. Help me focus on Your will and let me a reflector and magnifier of Your Glory. To God be to Glory. In Jesus' Sweetest Name, Amen.

ThingsIhavelearnt:
1.I find it hard to make people understand what I'm trying to say, especially stubborn people.

2.Stop viewing every new person of the opposite gender as a potential dating partner but as brothers or sister in Christ. ----I Kiss Dating Goodbye(Joshua Harris)

There's currently no song stucked in my head.

God does great things we don't comprehend

Today, was my Project Work Oral Presentation.
It was a great test of confidence for me, which I have lost since a few years ago. My hope is in God that He will help me recover it. I guess this oral presentation was one of the steps God took to regain my confidence.

I would use to tremble or stutter at my words over these few years. I lost confidence somehow, I wasn't as charismatic as I was when I was in secondary 2. However, I would really like to thank God for today's oral presentation. Well, though it didn't turn out perfect. I know it's a learning process, I have to make mistakes so as to learn from them. That's how God teaches people. His Spirit was with me, He blessed me with confidence, He removed my doubts of fears, mental blocks and many things that I couldn't comprehend. Well, I love You, God and I really want to give You my sincerest thanks on helping me through my oral presentation. I'm grateful that my group leader made a prayer for the group before we went in. Made me put my heart at rest.

There's another thing I would like to share. I was at woodlands bus interchange today, making a decision on whether to take 963 or 187. I invited the Holy Spirit to tell me of the things to come. Holy Spirit replied, " Queue up for 963, the bus is coming soon." Although He didn't say the exact words, He gave me a gentle whisper at my ear and my mind processed His words right away. So Cool... I want more of these, Holy Spirit. It's my desire to hear Your voice. Sometimes, the Holy Spirit guides us without us knowing at all. He is there all the time, awaiting your invitation to fall afresh on You again. Also, I've learnt from my quiet time yesterday, If doubtful, Don't! That's what. When you are faced with questionable practices and a troubled conscience, we would very well follow the guideline : If Doubtful, Don't!

Dear Father in Heaven, I just wanna give You thanks for what You have done in my life today. I give You all glory and praise. You deserve them. Father, I thank You for working within me. Thank You for hearing my prayer and blessing me with Your loving hands to carry me through the oral presentation. Forgive me Oh Lord, may the blood of Jesus Christ be upon me and cleanse me of my sins. Sanctify my thoughts oh Lord, fill it with Your Holy thoughts. I just wanna commit myself into Your hands, baptize me with the Holy Spirit in every moment of my life. In Jesus' most Precious and Sweetest Name. Amen.

Thought of the day:
when you happen to have a crush on someone, you will see what you lack in your crush.

Song stucked in my head:
No one else can satisfy my soul,
make me feel this way,
only You Lord,
only You... (How could I live without You---Hillsong)